I felt the need to blog. I have no idea what I want to blog about. Maybe something will come to me as I start rambling. But I just needed to write something. So here I am. Head's up. It will probably just been meaningless babble. If you want to leave, here's your chance! Haha!
Things have been okay. Right now, I've got a cold. I have been dodging this thing all winter, but it finally caught up to me. And I feel like crap. But I guess it was inevitable huh? I almost made it to February without one. So close!
We're getting a ton of snow right now, and I love it! People keep asking me if I'm sick of it yet. Nope! I think it's great!
A couple of weeks ago, I got into a funk. For about a week, I was sad, weepy, pouty, angry, and just all around pessimistic. It wasn't anything new. I get into a big one from time to time. I figure it's to be expected though, right? But there were a couple of days in there that all I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry. And I did. I barely talked to anyone, in real life and on-line, including Kyle. I just kind of moped around. But then, like always, I pulled my shit together and got on with life.
The last four and a half years have been a filled with ups and downs. Probably more downs than ups, but such is life, I suppose. We are now at 4.5 months of being home study complete. That's practically half way through an actual pregnancy. But I don't have a due date. I have no idea how long the gestation period on our paper pregnancy is. It could be over tomorrow, or it could be another year or more. I hate the not knowing part. *sigh* Lord knows I could go on and on about how unfair life is. But what's the point. I've done it before, I'm sure I'll do it again. And most of my readers (assuming anyone is still reading), know that song and dance all too well themselves. Most days, I am able to be completely optimistic. I know in my heart that our baby will be home with us someday. But then there are the days where I just want to give up. Say forget it all, and go on to lead the rest of our lives without kids. But that's not what I want. I want more than anything to be a mommy. So for now, for today, I will hold on to the hope that it will happen.
I'm feeling awfully nostalgic tonight. I finally watched "Dear John". And it took me back to several different places. It took me back to when Kyle and I first started dating. There is nothing like those new love butterflies. And though Kyle still finds a way to give me butterflies, they're different. It also reminded me of when he went away to boot camp. That was our first time apart. And I thought my world was over when I had to tell him bye. At the time, that was the worst possible thing that could happen to me. Oh if I only knew then what I knew now...And then of course, it took me back to when we lived in Charleston. I absolutely loved it there! And I have so many great memories from there. Three of the biggest ones being that's where Kyle proposed, it's where we got married, and its where we lived together for the first time. Charleston, SC will always hold a special place in my heart.
Alright I'm done. I just needed to write it out. I hope you are all doing well! And I do miss hearing from you guys! But I guess I should actually come around more for that to happen, huh? Anyway, this girl is taking some meds, and taking her sick butt to bed.
