I had my doctor's appointment on Friday. And it went exactly like I was expecting it to. Dr. Bob told us that there really isn't much else he can do, and that it is probably time to move on to in-vitro. I've known this. But it was nice for Kyle to hear it from someone other than me. After we got home, I got on the Seattle Reproductive Medicine website. I found a link to email someone about the entire financial aspect of visits, tests, ect. I knew approximately what a round of IVF costs. But it's not like you show up one time, and then that's all you pay. So I needed to know what we would be getting ourselves into. I received this email back this morning. It was yet another smack in the face (You think I would be used to these by now, considering how often it happens!), but at least we have an idea now. Here's what he said:
Hi Tiffany,
Thanks for the inquiry. Our general estimate for IVF can range from $16,000 - $19,000. The cost of the IVF cycle is $10,436, medications can run from $3000 - $6000. As far as office visits and pre cycle evaluations, it depends on what you've done in the past and what you may have to update.
New Patient visit is $350.
If the doctor does anything else at this visit then it's an additional charge.
Ultrasounds range from $175 - $220
Blood work prices vary. It depends on the blood work
Injection Teaching Class is $50
Consent signing consult is $250 - $300
Uterine Evaluations cane range from $600 - $800
Semen Analysis is $125
Once again this all depends on what our physisican recommends and what you've done in the past. Hope this helps
-Bill
Why does it all have to be so expensive? Why can't I just get pregnant for free, like everyone else. Or why can't I just accept the fact that we can't afford it, and get over it, and live a childless life? Kyle and I have a good life together. It's just the two of us. We can go where we want when we want, without having to worry about anything. We're really great together. And because of everything we've been through together in the past almost 8 years, we are incredibly strong. We would make amazing parents. Both of us. That is, if ever given the opportunity.
Motherhood is this exclusive club. And it's like when you're little and your friends start a club, but won't let you in. That's how I feel. I am one of the very few of my friends that don't have kids. I feel like I'm standing alone, outside in the cold, looking in. Looking in on something that I can never have. Sometimes they come out to share little bits and pieces, secrets almost, about their club. But then they run back inside. And slam the door in my face. Too bad we can't afford the $20,000 plus membership fee. Not right now anyways. Maybe someday...
Monday, August 31, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Life Lessons.
I got this in an email from Kyle's Mema Linda. And I figured these rules can apply to any and every life! I know more than several hit close to home for me! Enjoy!
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends & parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.The 2nd one is up to you & no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In 5 years, will this matter?".
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. People love you because of who you are.
34. Don't audit life. Show up & make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up & show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
45. Remember that I will always share my spoon with you! Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends & parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.The 2nd one is up to you & no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In 5 years, will this matter?".
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. People love you because of who you are.
34. Don't audit life. Show up & make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up & show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
45. Remember that I will always share my spoon with you! Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
I heart new books!
I just ordered a couple of new books from Amazon. I got Navigating the Land of If: Understanding Infertility and Exploring Your Options by Melissa Ford, and I also purchased Budgeting for Infertility: How to Bring Home a Baby Without Breaking the Bank by Evelina W Sterling. I've good things about the first one. Not familiar with the second one, but was recommended on one of the blogs I follow. I figure that since cost is our number one factor that is stoppping us from IVF, maybe we can learn something helpful! Either way, I love reading, and this will give me some new material.
Going to see Dr. Bob on Friday! Don't worry! I'll be sure to update afterwards! Fingers crossed for something useful!
Going to see Dr. Bob on Friday! Don't worry! I'll be sure to update afterwards! Fingers crossed for something useful!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I like this.
I've come across these quotes, and I think they all apply to our situation, in one way or another. After my hateful attituide yesterday, I figured an upper might be more appropriate today.
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place" ~Unknown~
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles, even when her heart is broken. And the girl who could always brighten your day, even when she couldn't brighten her own."
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...it is about learning to dance in the rain."
"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."
"The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be." -Horace Bushnell
"Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true."
-Leon J. Suenes
"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." -Bill Cosby
"Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it has all finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself...'How did I get through all of that?'"
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place" ~Unknown~
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles, even when her heart is broken. And the girl who could always brighten your day, even when she couldn't brighten her own."
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...it is about learning to dance in the rain."
"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."
"The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be." -Horace Bushnell
"Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true."
-Leon J. Suenes
"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." -Bill Cosby
"Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it has all finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself...'How did I get through all of that?'"
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Yesterday, I called and scheduled another appointment with Dr. Bob. Even though, at this point, I've kind of let go of hope, Kyle is still holding on. He wants me to take him with me to the appointment so that he can talk with the doctor. It's really important to Kyle, so I'll humor him. Though I really don't think Bob is going to do anything more than he already has. Maybe when we can finally get to see some better doctors, my hope will come back. But for now, they've kind of disapated. And please don't give me the whole, "don't lost hope, blah blah blah" lines. It's been three years. I have every right to feel the way I do.
Today is just a very angry, bitter day. Towards everything, not just trying to get pregnant. Hopefully it's gone by tomorrow.
Today is just a very angry, bitter day. Towards everything, not just trying to get pregnant. Hopefully it's gone by tomorrow.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Surprise surprise.
The first month back was a fail. Not that I'm surprised. I fully expected it not to work. I started my second round of Femara on Wednesday. And once again, I'm not expecting to get pregnant this month. I just have a feeling that this isn't what I need. Next month, after my period shows up, and I call my doctor's office to get more meds, I'm going to make an appointment to go back in to talk to Dr. Bob again. This time Kyle wants to come with me. We're going to see if after two unsuccessful rounds(and by two, I mean more like 15!), he'll move on to something else. And if not, maybe at that point we can be able to go down to SRM.
Next month will be the three year mark of trying to get pregnant. It's going to be hard. And it's not getting any easier. Starting in October, the first friend of mine that is pregnant is due. And then it seems like every few weeks after her, it will be someone else's turn to go into labor. This is going to keep happening, one after the other until at least into March or April. And I guarentee, during that time, more friends and people I know are going to turn up pregnant. I'm certain I'm going to be fairly miserable. I have recently realized that I am so very close to being that woman who bursts into tears at the site of babies or bellies. I do not want to be her, but I can feel it coming. I feel really awful for whoever is with me when that happens. It is not going to be cute.
Today, I was in Babies R Us with one of my pregnant friends. That store loves to rip my heart to pieces. But I put myself into the position to be tortured. I dont' know why, but I do. I'm surprised I held my shit together in there. But I did. And I made it out alive.
Anyways, I hadn't updated in awhile, and I figured it was about time. Nothing new to report, as usual. I really hope to one day be able to announce that I am finally pregnant...but I'm not quite sure that day will ever come...
Next month will be the three year mark of trying to get pregnant. It's going to be hard. And it's not getting any easier. Starting in October, the first friend of mine that is pregnant is due. And then it seems like every few weeks after her, it will be someone else's turn to go into labor. This is going to keep happening, one after the other until at least into March or April. And I guarentee, during that time, more friends and people I know are going to turn up pregnant. I'm certain I'm going to be fairly miserable. I have recently realized that I am so very close to being that woman who bursts into tears at the site of babies or bellies. I do not want to be her, but I can feel it coming. I feel really awful for whoever is with me when that happens. It is not going to be cute.
Today, I was in Babies R Us with one of my pregnant friends. That store loves to rip my heart to pieces. But I put myself into the position to be tortured. I dont' know why, but I do. I'm surprised I held my shit together in there. But I did. And I made it out alive.
Anyways, I hadn't updated in awhile, and I figured it was about time. Nothing new to report, as usual. I really hope to one day be able to announce that I am finally pregnant...but I'm not quite sure that day will ever come...
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