So we finally got "the call"...

But it wasn’t what we were expecting to hear. Apparently Baby Boy was born Thursday night. Friday afternoon, our agency called to let us know that  “R” decided to parent. Or more so that her family convinced her to parent. So he will not be coming home with us. And we are absolutely heart broken. 

 

We were SO close. We were days away from being parents. I know we aren't the first couple to go through a failed match. And I know that we aren't the first couple to experience this heartbreak. And I know that we will more than likely go on to successfully adopt a baby. But my heart hurts so very very much right now. It is, by far, the worst heartache of my life. I want the pain to go away. I want the tears to stop. But it's not, and they won't. I hate this so hard. 

We've barely spoken to anyone since we got the call. Since we had told everyone beforehand, we put out the appropriate messages on Facebook, Twitter, and what not. And we texted a handful of family and close friends. Calls, messages, and comments came flooding in. But they were all ignored. I just started responding to a few messages today. And the only person that I have spoken to on the phone is my best friend. I know as time goes on, it will get easier. But right now? It's still so very very hard. And forget about even trying to go into the nursery yet. Ugh. 

Anyway, I just wanted to let all of you know. I know a few of you are emotionally invested and have been waiting for some news. Sorry it wasn't want what you were hoping for. It wasn't what I was hoping for either...

Please keep us, “R”, and Baby Boy in your thoughts…

Still waiting for the call!

Baby Boy's due date is only 13 days away! I can't believe he's almost here!

R's doctor told her that he thinks that she'll go to at least her due date, so more than likely he won't be here before then. But I guess you never know.

We're all ready for him. His bag is bag. The car seat is installed. Everything is ready, all we need now is him! Those 72 hours after he is born are going to be excruciating, I'm sure. But we know that one way or another, things will work out how they're supposed to. We just have to keep faith, and remain cautiously optimistic.

I know I have been terrible and keeping my blog updated over the last 9 months. And I do apologize. Just haven't had much to share. But I promise I will keep you all updated on his arrival, and if/when the TPR is signed. Please keep Kyle and I in your thought over the next few weeks! Thanks bunch!

Hopefully my next post will be that he's here!