And so on and so forth...

Normally I don't copy and paste my blogs, but I'm in a foul mood and don't feel like retyping, so here's what's going on:

I am so frustrated right now. I had my first appointment since January today, with Dr. Bob. I was really hoping that we could try some new things or have some more ideas. But no, of course not. He wants to do the same thing as before. And the said after 2-3 cycles on this regimen, if nothing happens, then maybe we can try some more testing. Umm...excuse me? Seriously? It's been almost 3 years. How many more months does this man need?! And everything that I had planned on discussing with him went right out of the window when I heard that. I almost started bawling in his office. But I held my shit together because I had the boys right outside the door waiting on me. I'm just so upset. I've been crying all afternoon. I just don't get why this has to be so hard. So I guess for now, the game plan is to do it his way for a few months, and then after September, when Kyle gets his raise, maybe I can finally get a referral to Seattle Reproductive Medicine. That's what I really want...but hey, since when do I ever get what I want? Guess like with everything else, only time will tell. More waiting. Imagine that. I don't know why I thought that starting to try again would be a good idea, or for that fact, that it would be easy...

On another note, I started my new nanny job yesterday. It's going well. The two boys, 6 and 9, are pretty well behaved boys. And they are super cute too! They have a few attitude issues, but what kid doesn't? And they fight, but hey, that's to be expected. I really like the whole family. They're all very nice! It's so nice to be working again!

Kyle is STILL over in Bremerton. He's been there a week and half now. He was only supposed to be gone 4 days. Clearly that didn't work out. And what sucks is we don't know when he'll be home. Hopefully in the next day or two, but how many times have I said that in the last week? And then, on top of that, he has to go back on Monday or Tuesday, and do the same thing for the other plant! And like before, it's only scheduled for 4 days. Yah, I bet!

Anyways, I'm done for now. Clearly I am not in a good mood today. Suck.

Dr. Bob, here I come!

After getting the run around from Tricare and several doctor offices in the area, I realized that hardly anyone covers Tricare, especially when it comes to GYNs with an infertility speciality. I found one that cover Tricare standard, but I'm on Prime. And if you go down to Standard, you are locked into it for a year. No thanks. So after much frustration, I have decided to just go back to Dr. Bob. This time, I plan on vocalizing what I want, and see if we can accomplish something this time. And if not, hopefully in a few months we'll be able to go to SRM finally! I got my referral and made an appointment. I'm going to go see Dr. Bob on the 30th. Hopefully it goes well! Guess we'll see!

Hooray!

I got the job! No more being unemployed for this girl! I had my interview with the family today. Things went really well. Apparently, Heather already had her mind made up that she loved me! But she told me that she had to interview one other girl, just because. Haha! And then she called me around 5:30 or so, and confirmed it! Then she asked if I would mind coming over tonight for a dry run, and baby-sit while they went on a date night. The older boy, Cobe, was spending the night at a friend's house, so it was just Chase and I. We got along great! He seems like a good kid! Anyways, I officially start on June 29th, once they get back from their family vacay to Florida. But I will be so glad to be working again! Finally!!

A few things.

First of all, Kyle and I have decided that our break from trying is going to be over soon. I decided against waiting to go to SRM. And yesterday I called my doctor about a referral to another fertility doctor that was in our insurance network. I told her I would like to see someone different than before. She was going to do some research and call me back either today or Monday. Hopefully she'll find someone that we like!! Kyle was more than thrilled when I told him I was ready to start trying again. He didn't want to quit in the first place, but I needed that break. Guess we'll see where things go from here!

Secondly, I had/have three interviews this week for jobs!! Yesterday and today were for two different daycare centers. And tomorrow, I have one for a nanny job. I'm really hoping the nanny one works out, it would be my first choice! And then on Monday, I go for a "working interview" for the daycare I interviewed at yesterday. They'll put me in the classroom with the kids and see how it goes. I'm really hoping at least one of the places want to hire me! I have been unemployed for entirely too long!! ::fingers crossed::

Thirdly, it is looking really good for us to be out of here by April-ish of next year!! Kyle has been doing all of the paper work that needs to be done and talking to the right people. We should have a better idea in the next couple of months as to when for sure. But for now, that is what we're hoping for! YAY!!

Anyways, those are the highlights for now! I'll keep you posted on the doctor and the jobs and orders as I find them out!

Just say hello!

I know I get a lot of views on my blog. But I don't know who reads it! Please just comment and say hello! I'd like to know who my audience is. Even if I don't know you, say hi! I won't think you're a weirdo! Haha! There are several blogs that I follow, that I have no idea who they are! I just enjoy reading.

Anyways, thanks for stopping by! And I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog.

Bummer.

I found out a good friend from back home is pregnant. They weren't even trying yet, about to start. She had told my Mom that she was nervous about telling me. But she did not seem all that concerned when she shouted it out on my Myspace. I just don't get it. Why is it so easy for some? Here we are, wanting it more than anything. We want a family so bad that we are getting ready to drop at least $15,000 on a CHANCE that we might get pregnant. And that's if we go IVF. It'll be more if we do adoption. Fifteen THOUSAND dollars. That is so much money. But we are more than willing to pay it. I just hate this.

I'm back at the point where I've been thinking about starting back trying again. But the thing is that I want to do it right this time. I want the best doctors, which means going to Seattle Reproductive Medicine. They are phenomenol there. I have heard nothing but good. But they don't accept Tricare(even though Tricare doesn't cover infertility treatments, they do cover diagnosis, office visits, and usually lab work when it's accepted by the doctor) which means everything will be out of pocket. And we can't afford to do that just yet. Hopefully I can find a job soon. Kyle just made rank, and should start getting paid for it sometime in the next few months. And plus, with his re-enlistment bonus, assuming we still go that route, that will all help. But we have to wait until that all comes together.

I'm just so tired of waiting. Waiting for something that might take years. Waiting for something that might not ever happen. And I'm tired of always complaining about this whole thing. Ugh. At least, posting it here, only the people who want to read it will. As opposed to posting it on Myspace where you never know what you're going to get in a blog. I don't feel bad putting it up on Blogger because the people who read it know what this blog is for. But I can't quit complaining, but it hasn't stopped hurting. Maybe it will one day. But probably not.

Anyways, I guess I'm done for now. I need to suck it up and go try to be productive.