Boo hiss!

I heard back from our social worker last night. Apparently he is out of town until late Friday night. Which means that the earliest he could get it notarized and back in the mail to the agency would probably be Monday. Meaning we won't receive it until the end of next week. Suck.
I know it's not a huge deal, because in reality, we're just waiting to be home study complete, so that we can wait to be matched. Hurry up and wait, as they say! But I was really anticipating being done a couple of weeks ago. *shrugs* Oh well. What can you do, right?

How long did your home study process take? We'll be just shy of 5 months, it looks like.

It's my day off. I have a ton of photos to edit. And we're having a BBQ this weekend, so I also need to clean some. But before I go, let me leave you with my newest work of art! I'm going to print each letter individually and hang them in our front hallway. Tell me what you think! I think I'm a fan!

Thinking of You...

It seem that over the course of the last month or so, not only has their been a baby boom in the adoption blogger world, but there's also been a trend of failed adoptions. There have been several of my blogger friends that have recently gone through one. And it just breaks my heart. But somehow, they have all remained strong, kept their head high, and kept right along. And when it happens, there's nothing that you can say to make it better. I think anyone in the IF community knows that there usually aren't any words. All you can do is tell them that you're thinking and praying for them. And that you're there to cry to, if needed. It sucks to see someone hurting.

And it also scares me. Of course, with adoption, there's always the chance of these things happening. But seeing it happen, first hand to people you "know", it's terrifying. I know that without risks, there are no rewards. And I will continue down this path that we are going. I will try to remain cautious once chosen, but I'm also not naive. I know that when it happens, I will fall head over heels in love. And just have to hope to God that he has chosent that baby to be mine!

Anyway, this has been something that's been on my mind for awhile now. And after hearing about another failed adoption today, I felt the need to get it off of my chest. On our adoption front, still no papers. I'm about to email my social worker and check to see when he mailed them back to the agency. Still holding out hope that we can celebrate our paper pregnancy this weekend. Guess we'll see!

To the ladies who are dealing with this right now, you all have so many people who care about you, and who are thinking about you. And I won't try to say anything to fix it, because that's impossible. So I'm sending lots of hugs your way!

::HUGS::

This and that. And a lot of photos!

Hello friends! How's everyone doing??

I'm doing pretty good! I have my days though. Lately, I've been feeling very overwhelmed with everything. Not just adoption related stuff. But what can you do about it, other than suck it up and go with it?
Here are some things going on lately:
   * I have been taking a ton of pictures with my new camera! I'll post some at the end of this post. I even had my first paying customer, since moving to New York! It's a start to re-building my clientele out here.
   * Our home study papers should be here any day now! I've been saying this for over a week. But I was confused by what our agency told me. She said she put it in the mail last Friday. I assumed it was coming straight to us. But then I found out that it goes to our social worker, back to the agency, then back to us. Assuming he was prompt about getting it signed, then it should be here to us sometime this week! We are this close!
   * Kyle and I have been spending a lot of time together! I LOVE shore duty!!!
   *  I have been extremely self-conscious lately. I always am, but it's just intensified recently. Especially last night when I went out with a few of my much thinner girlfriends. Nobody wants to be the fat friend in the group. And even though I almost always am, last night I was so incredibly uncomfortable. I hate that feeling. But luckily, I have a husband who loves me no matter what I look like, and still finds me sexy even! When he woke up this morning, and I told him about my night, he made me feel much better and loved up on me!
   * Both of my sisters passed their state boards for their nursing licenses! Good job Erika and Whitney! I'm so proud of you both!
   * My nephew made his entrance into the world last week! Mom, Dad (my brother), and baby are all doing well! This is him.

And for some of my newer pictures! Sorry if I go overboard! I love taking pictures! Oh and if you're on Facebook, you should become a fan of my photo page!

These first few are of our good friend Billy and his son, Bly. Billy lives in Virginia and his son lives up here in New York. He comes up to visit every chance he gets, but of course its never often enough. I volunteered to do a photo shoot for him!

Kyle and I went to the fair to test out my new camera! And to eat funnel cake. Mmmm.

This cute family was my first official paying shoot in NY! They are my neighbors, though not for much longer. :( They are so sweet, and we had a great time doing the pictures!

Their girls, Randi and Hannah. Sisterly love!

This is where we did the photos at. Beautiful right?!

And just for funsies, a new self portrait of Kyle and I. Neither one of us have been terribly photogenic lately! LoL

  

Tarnished.

I hate that my feelings have to tarnish everything. But I can't help it. After everything we've been through, those feelings and emotions are there. And they effect my life. I can't hear a pregnancy or birth announcement without having that bit of resentment. I can't buy baby gifts for others without desperately wishing that it was for my baby. And I can't see a happy little family without biting back the tears.
Wednesday, my brother and his wife will be welcoming their first child into the world. My big brother is going to be a daddy to a baby boy. And while I am so happy for them (they were IFers too), I still can't help but feel that sharp pain of sadness/jealousy/resentment. It seems like they just found out they were pregnant last week. Time flies.
In the last four years, I have seen so many people get pregnant and have their babies. And a lot of them I've seen do it more than once. Everyone around me is building their families. While we have been working at trying to build a family for nearly four years. Life is not fair. So cliche', but so true. I know that we are getting so close to finally achieving the dream. Closer than we've ever been before! But until we have our baby in our arms, it's just not close enough.

On a brighter note, I am so thrilled for all of my adoptive mommy friends out there who have recently been matched and/or brought home your babies! How exciting! It seems like it's been a baby boom in the adoption blogger world in the last few weeks! Congratulations to you all!!! I cannot wait for our turn! But in the meantime, I will bask in your glow. And you are all helping to keep me optimistic! Eyes on the prize, as they say! And for those of those that are still waiting (IFers and waiting to adopt), we'll get our babies, one way or another, they will come to us. Keep your chins up, and your cocktail glass full! ;)