Update. Kind of.

I had my doctor's appointment on Friday. And it went exactly like I was expecting it to. Dr. Bob told us that there really isn't much else he can do, and that it is probably time to move on to in-vitro. I've known this. But it was nice for Kyle to hear it from someone other than me. After we got home, I got on the Seattle Reproductive Medicine website. I found a link to email someone about the entire financial aspect of visits, tests, ect. I knew approximately what a round of IVF costs. But it's not like you show up one time, and then that's all you pay. So I needed to know what we would be getting ourselves into. I received this email back this morning. It was yet another smack in the face (You think I would be used to these by now, considering how often it happens!), but at least we have an idea now. Here's what he said:

Hi Tiffany,
Thanks for the inquiry. Our general estimate for IVF can range from $16,000 - $19,000. The cost of the IVF cycle is $10,436, medications can run from $3000 - $6000. As far as office visits and pre cycle evaluations, it depends on what you've done in the past and what you may have to update.

New Patient visit is $350.
If the doctor does anything else at this visit then it's an additional charge.
Ultrasounds range from $175 - $220
Blood work prices vary. It depends on the blood work
Injection Teaching Class is $50
Consent signing consult is $250 - $300
Uterine Evaluations cane range from $600 - $800
Semen Analysis is $125
Once again this all depends on what our physisican recommends and what you've done in the past. Hope this helps
-Bill

Why does it all have to be so expensive? Why can't I just get pregnant for free, like everyone else. Or why can't I just accept the fact that we can't afford it, and get over it, and live a childless life? Kyle and I have a good life together. It's just the two of us. We can go where we want when we want, without having to worry about anything. We're really great together. And because of everything we've been through together in the past almost 8 years, we are incredibly strong. We would make amazing parents. Both of us. That is, if ever given the opportunity.

Motherhood is this exclusive club. And it's like when you're little and your friends start a club, but won't let you in. That's how I feel. I am one of the very few of my friends that don't have kids. I feel like I'm standing alone, outside in the cold, looking in. Looking in on something that I can never have. Sometimes they come out to share little bits and pieces, secrets almost, about their club. But then they run back inside. And slam the door in my face. Too bad we can't afford the $20,000 plus membership fee. Not right now anyways. Maybe someday...