I just realized that the last thing I wrote on here was the post about "R" deciding to parent. Kyle and I survived through the failed placement. It hurt. A lot. More than anything I've ever experienced. But we made it through, with the help of each other. I just realized a couple of days ago that Baby Boy is now 11 weeks old. I still think about him all of the time. I wonder how "R" is doing. I wonder how he's doing. I think about what could have been...I still wish them all the best. I just hope he's happy and healthy.
We are still waiting to become parents. Though hopefully our wait will be over soon.
I can't believe it's already September. For any of my long time readers, you may remember that this month has always been hard on me. September marks 5 years of trying to build a family. For five years, Kyle and I have been fighting tooth and nail to become parents. Five years?! Seriously?! *sigh* September also marked our one year anniversary of being home study complete. We just updated it. When we first started the process in April '10, I didn't actually think that we would have to renew it. Boy was I wrong!
It took about a month after The Boy was born for me to be able to go back into the nursery. I went in there, touched his things, and had another good cry. I cried a LOT that first month.
The nursery is still sitting there. Looking as sweet as always. Just waiting to be occupied. I have a love hate relationship with that room. I love it because it's beautiful, and I can't wait for it to belong to our baby. But I hate it because it reminds me of what we don't have. And that it's just an unoccupied room still. And that it's still just the two of us. I can't wait for the "And baby makes three!" moment.
But in the meantime, as always, Kyle and I are taking advantage of it being just the two of us. Since all extra money goes into our adoption fund, we're on a tighter budget. But that doesn't stop us from enjoying life! We go for drives, we hang out with friends, we've spent a lot of time this summer on the lake on our friends boats, we cuddle and watch movies, we go out for drinks with friends. We just enjoy our time together. It's nice. Even after nine and a half years together, we could not be happier.
And we also have some visitors coming in the next couple of months! One of our friends from Washington is going to be in town in a few weeks. My bestie is coming back from Arizona at the end of October, for a visit. And my mom and one of my sisters will be here at the beginning of November!
Alright, I think I have sufficiently spammed your feed for now. I won't even say that I'll try to get better at updating, because we both know that's a lie. BUT once we do actually have something to update you on, I PROMISE I will. Okay?! I hope each and every one of you is doing well! I miss you all, and think about you and your families often.
*hugs and kisses*
4 comments:
Thanks for the update Tiffany. I'm praying for you, Kyle and the little one that will be joining your family someday (hopefully soon!) All God's best on your journey to a family of three!
Oh, Tiffany, your grief sounds so real to me as I read about it. I remember that grief after my miscarriages. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I just know your miracle is just around the corner. And I love that you are taking a positive outlook and enjoying your hubby. Such a brave and strong thing to do. Thinking of you!
Tiffany, I can relate to what you are going through. I still think about the little boy we had in our home for 4 days that we thought we were going to get to adopt as well. I hope you get another placement soon! :)
I'm so glad you posted an update! I've thought of you often since you got the news.
Still praying for you guys!
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