STILL no word on orders. I'm so ready to know already! I've been super emotional lately and I know this is factoring into my current "need to know" feelings. We have been waiting for over three years. I think that's long enough. I know that there are people out there who have waited and are still waiting, for longer periods of time than this, but they shouldn't have to keep waiting either!
Yet another birthday came and went. And so did the birth of one of my best friend's baby! I was hoping she would have arrived on my birthday, but she missed it by a few hours. I was lucky enough to be a part of the labor and delivery. It was my third time to be able to be a part of that experience. This time was different though. Mostly because watching her go through it, I was incredibly jealous. It really hit close to home and reminded me that it is something that I will probably never get to experience firsthand. I'm so happy for her. I'm so happy for all of my pregnant friends/friends with kids. And seeing her with this new one, fills me with love. She is such a great Mom! Not only to this one, but to her two others as well. She has the most well-behaved and loving children of anyone I know. But seeing her with the new baby always fills me with sadness. More than anything, I want to have those feelings that she has right now. Holding a brand new baby and knowing that she is all yours. Knowing that you are this tiny person's whole world. And knowing that you have never felt as much love as you do that very minute. Instead, when I hold a baby I get the feelings of knowing that I have to give him back, knowing that he doesn't know me by smell or sound, and knowing that I might not ever get to feel what most of my friends have already felt. Getting pregnant is something that so many women take for granted. They're too busy complaining about the bad, to really stop and think about how lucky they really are.
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