Last night I went over to a friend's house to hang out. Her Mom was in town and had a few drinks. I was showing my friend our profile, and her Mom started asking questions. "Profile for what? Adopting? A baby? How old are you? May I ask why you need to adopt? Have you given it plenty of time?" And then proceeded to tell me that I was definitely going to get pregnant. Several times. And then when she saw the picture of the nursery, she told me that we would definitely be using it soon. And I was like, "yeah I know!" And she said "no, for your own baby". And I was like, "yeah I know. It will be our baby." And she was like, "no, your own real baby." My friend was really embarrassed for her Mom. She felt really bad. I hate that I have to encounter conversations like this one, or that anyone has to, for that matter. Why are people so incessant that once you adopt, you'll get pregnant? I read once that it was something like only 10% of couples that do get pregnant. Yet everyone knows someone who knows someone that it happened to. And yes, I get that it does happen. But adoption is not a cure for infertility. And I don't think people understand how much it sucks to hear. To me, it is up there with telling someone to relax and just quit thinking about it, and you'll get pregnant. It's just not cool. When will people learn? Why is it so hard to have some tact?
Does it ever end? Actually, I don't think it ever does. Once we adopt, I'm sure we will always hear about it. And if we adopt trans-racially, I can only imagine the endless comments that we'll hear, above the other comments about adoption. And Heaven forbid we do end up getting pregnant! I can only imagine what we'll hear! *rolls eyes*
Alright, that is the end of my rambling rant for today! I'm off to go get the supplies to build cookies! Apparently Kyle volunteered me to make 6 dozen cookies (at least!) for the guys! They have to work tomorrow, so they're having their own potluck BBQ at work! Lots of baking to be done! I hope you are all enjoying your long weekend!
8 comments:
It's funny, yours is the third blog I've read today about insensitive comments about adoption. Just last night, we had people over and I told a woman we were adopting and she said, "aren't you scared?" She then proceeded to tell me about someone she knows, an adoptive couple, who apparently ended up in a legal battle and lost and the birthparents took the child back. Uggghh, I wish people were a little more sensitive, and educated!
All I can say is it is our job, for ourselves and for our future children and for their first parents, to educate others and spread the word about the beauty of adoption. It's all we can do. Happy baking!
Rude enough?! Geez! Was that lady drunk? Man, I just don't get some people.
So what if you do adopt and then become pregnant??? What is wrong with that? I think that would be wonderful! Then you would have 2 kids. Awesome! Pay no mind to those that speak against you hun.
Hey,
I've enjoyed stumbling over your blog. I want to follow you and keep up, but I just wanted to encourage you to keeping going forward and don't give up. I have PCOS and have been trying to conceive for over two years now. So I can relate and understand how you feel. Feel free to check out my blog, I'd love to add your blog to my blog roll, and I hope you will follow me, and add me as one of your favorite sights. I'll be praying for you. Here's my blog. Follow me.
http://ourjourneythrufaith.blogspot.com/
God Bless,
Jessie
Tiffany you just tell people to eff off if they ever make comments about your baby. My parents only adopted one blue eyed blonde baby and the rest of us are mexican or in my brothers case black. I hate when people comment about how different we all are and then feel sorry for us b/c we were adopted.
Im sorry people are such a holes.
Hey girlie girl, I'm sorry you had to endure that! I'm so sick of people insisting that we will get pregnant the minute we adopt. After 5 years of infertility and 4 miscarriages, I doubt "I'm just going to magically get pregnant when we adopt!"
When people say you'll get pregnant once you get started then just tell them "Well, I guess it will be like having twins then!" It has to be hard to hear though.
Your own "real" baby? That has got to be the most infuriating thing I have ever heard. Because an adopted baby isn't "real"? Ugh. I'm sorry. You will have your own baby soon and I can't wait to see that day come!
As for cookies, uh, did you ask me for a chocolate chip cookie recipe that my flaky butt didn't get you?? I have it if you want it! :)
AHHHH I HATE IT!!! Seriously, even my beloved mother in law (who knew her son was not born to produce children) brings it up!
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