All Aboard the IF Train!

I started and deleted this post several times. I have so much to say, but I don't know how to say it. I'm bitter, sad, and cranky today. I don't want to feel this way about a stupid, insignificant holiday, but I do. I cried last night and today. I have not cried over all of this mess in quite some time. Tears used to be a regular thing when we were TTC. But since adoption came into our lives, they've become and fewer and more far in between. But last night. I don't know what happened. But I cried. And then I cried again this morning. I've been pretty emotional lately, in general though. I don't know if it's because starting the home study process made things real, or what. Being reminded of how many of my friends are Moms today was no fun. I mean, I know who is a Mom. But today, everyone going on about how lucky they are to have their children, and what their kids made for them today, and how they couldn't wait to spend the day with their family. Of my friends in real life, there are only a very small handful of them that don't have kids. And mostly it's because they just haven't been ready yet. I only have one friend that I know in person who has struggled like I have. And she adopted her son in January. I wish we lived closer together. But she is always there to help me out and prove that their will be in end to this someday. I wish that I could sit down with all of my adoption bloggers and just hang out. Laugh, cry, eat, maybe have some cocktails. I love knowing that I "know" others who have been through/are going through the same things. But I hate that you are all just on this screen. Anyone want to road trip to upstate New York? LoL

I know this post is all over the place, but then again, mine usually are. Here's hoping to waking up in a better mood tomorrow. And if I don't wake up that way, then surely I will be after I drop off a large packet for the agency, at the post office!

And by the way, Happy Mother's Day to all of you Moms! Whether you have your babies already, waiting for your babies to come, and especially to those of you who have angel babies in Heaven. Big hugs to all of you! And I'm so glad that I can call you my friends! Thanks for always lending an ear...er...eye.