I am definitely seeing a resemblence between TTC and adopting, lots of waiting! Haha! But this waiting is so much more exciting and hopeful than with TTC. I've been realizing lately how glad I am that we were able to let go and move on. Maybe somewhere down the road, we'll want to try again, but for now, I am so completely excited about what is to come! I haven't felt this way since we first began trying to get pregnant, way back in 2006! Back when I was naive, and thought that having sex led to getting pregnant! ;) I can now start a sentence with, "WHEN we have our baby"! It's amazing, I tell you! A friend and I were talking the other day, and we realized that I would be the mother of a toddler when we leave here! The age range could definitely vary, but either way, a toddler! And that blows my mind! "Normal" people get to say that, not IFers. Normal women who decide that they would like to avoid a summer pregnancy so they're going to get pregnant in August, or who don't want to their baby to enjoy their first Christmas, so they plan to have their baby in January. Oh what that must be like to only have experienced the rejection of only a few pregnancy tests. But you know what, it's okay. It's okay because I'm getting my baby! It may not be through the conventional way. It may not be the normal path. But what is normal, anyway? And I can guarantee that my baby will be so loved, so appreciated, and so adored that it won't matter how he/she came to us! That's our baby, and that's all that matters!
So for today, I am happy! Who knows how long it will be until I hear another pregnancy announcement, or baby shower invite, or belly pictures, or seeing sweet tiny babies everywhere I go, and I come crashing down again. But I will enjoy it while it lasts, and continue dreaming of the day (that is hopefully not too far away) when I am holding my baby!
And in case the sweetness of this post didn't give you a toothache, here is the onesie I bought yesterday. It's kind of boy-ish, but I couldn't pass it up, because any child of my husband's will probably feel accordingly! Haha!
Now, I need to go put on a bra so that I can walk to the mailbox and check tha mail! Stay classy! ;)
2 comments:
Hold on to that positive spirit, it's awesome and I pray things happen quickly for you and Kyle. I am so excited for you, I've watched adoption change the life of a couple friends of mine and it's truly amazing. That baby of yours is going to be so loved.
I know exactly how you feel! I guess I've come crashing down a little lately - lots of baby activity around me, and the waiting is tough. But, I feel the same way that adoption is SO much more of a positive experience than ttc. Enjoy:)! And LOVE the onesie:).
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