Week 5 Weight Loss

Okay, so I lied! I didn't make it back yesterday to update! Oops! But for the record, I am down just under 14 pounds!!! I think it may have been over that, but I am bloated. Yah, that was my lovely Valentine's Day gift. Thanks for stopping in, Flo!

I was going to update earlier today, after I got home from running errands. But then on of my bests called and asked if I would come get her kids for a few hours. She is so sick and felt terrible! So of course I went and got them! She texted after she woke up a few hours late, and still felt like crap. So I told her to just go back to bed, and that the kids could spend the night with me! So all afternoon and evening, I have had Alexis(almost 6), Trenton(3), and Jessa(almost 3 months)! Luckily, they are usually pretty good kids! Poor Jessa is catching what Brina has though, and she was pretty fussy. But currently, all 3 are sleeping! Well, of course as I typed that, I think Jessa may be waking up! LoL I can't tell just yet, she is such a noisy sleeper! Hehe!

Kyle will be home in about 12 hours, hopefully! YAY! Can't wait!

The days are going by entirely too quickly! Everytime I think about having to say my good-byes, I start to cry! Slow down, February!!!

Anyway, I better get to bed. I have a feeling the kiddos will be up early! I hope everyone had a great weekend, and a lovely Valentine's Day! I got to spend it with the 3 kids that I love the most! They are definitely the closest thing to having my own! I have been around since before Trent and Jessa was born, and Lexi was not even two! And I got to be there for Jessa's birth! It's been great being such a big part of their lives!

Time for a change.

My blog needs a facelift. And maybe a new title? But I'm not sure what just yet...I really liked by title before. But now, we aren't really on the IF train. We've jumped off! Now, we're focusing on adoption. So do you think I need to rename my blog? Hmm...I don't know. But either way, at least now I have a fresh new look! And look how happy my blog looks now! :)

Kyle comes home on Monday! And the next few weeks are going to be crazy busy! So much to do and so little time to do it!

We have our going away party on Saturday! I'm really excited about it, but also dreading it. I HATE good-byes!! And then, one of my friends reminded me today that we've already had to say good-bye once, and that the second time is going to suck even worse! I've known my two best friends for over 4 years. We all met at our last duty station in Charleston. And then, Kyle and I moved out here. Next came Brina and her family just a few months after that. And finally, Erin and her husband came shortly after that! I love having them here, and it has been so great! And now, I am super bummed to be leaving them behind. This is definitely one of the hardest aspects of the military lifestyle. That and never seeing your husband! LoL

Since posting my latest photo project just a few days ago, I have had 5 more requests from friends wanting to buy one for themselves!!! That makes me so happy! I am by no means a professional, but just knowing that people would pay money for photos that I take makes me feel really good about myself! :D

Well my dears, it is late. And I am baby-sitting a friend's baby all day tomorrow, while they are moving. But I promise I will make time for my weekly weight loss report though!

Photo Project!

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a friend of mine. She was showing me pictures of her son's nursery. She was saying that the walls still needed something on them, so I volunteered to do some pictures for her! She then asked me if I had ever done the letter photography, pictures of things that look like letters. I hadn't ever tried, but told her I would give it a whirl! Anyway, here is the outcome! For my first try, I'm pretty pleased! They will be printed seperately, not all together. But I wanted to show them next to each other. And his nursery is painted brown, with primary color accents.

I already have in a request from someone else for one for them! And I totally will be putting one in my someday nursery! I have always said I wanted to incorporate my photography in somehow! This is a good start!

What do you think?

Opinions?

Because I just can't help myself, I've been looking at ideas for our future nursery! It's never too early to start planning, right? We already have the furniture. Last year, a friend of mine sold it to me for an incredible deal! I have been going back and forth over when we will set it all up once we move. I don't know if it's something I want to do right away, or if it's something that I will want to wait until we have been matched, to do. But either way, it never hurts to look! I have found some incredibly cute nurseries out there!!! Unfortunately, most of them are probably way out of my budget and my creative zone! Haha! But I found this two sets from Target, and they are way stinking cute!!! They are both very different, but so adorable! I know for sure that we will do an neutral nursery, whenever it is that we decide. Because you just never know, and I would really hate to do a gender specific one, and then things fall through. I'm not huge into themes either. I like color palettes more. Plus you can do so much with a color theme, than a specific theme.

Anyway, this is the crib we have. I believe in person, the color looks a little lighter. I'm usually a darker finish girl, but beggers can't be choosers right




And here are the two sets that I have found so far that I really love! Which one do you like better? I like the way they both look in the color of crib shown, but like I said, I have to work with what I got!

Week Four Weight Loss...and lots of other random tidbits!

I had my doctor's appointment yesterday. It was my one month of weight loss check-up. And I have lost 11 pounds this month! My doctor was very proud of me! She said that I am doing terrific!! That was great to hear! She also told me that the average woman only loses 2-4 pounds a month! That's almost slightly discouraging! But thankfully, she is going to let me do one more month on the meds. After that, I'm hoping that I will still be able to do it on my own! But I guess we'll see! For now, I'm just enjoying my tremendous success! I know that I have still got a long way to go, and that 11 pounds is a very tiny dent, but you've got to start somewhere though, right??

I had a friend ask me on Facebook if I was losing the weight because it would increase my chance of pregnancy. I told her that ship has sailed! Last year, while Kyle was gone on deployment for 7 months, I lost 25 pounds! A part of me really thought that maybe once he got home, I would immediately get pregnant! I mean, that is what they say right?! (Just one of the so many other comments that random people tell you that will help you get pregnant!) But of course, it didn't happen. For a long time, I really thought it might be my weight stopping me. But then, 1.)I've seen many other girls much bigger than me get pregnant and 2.) I was quite a bit lighter when we started almost 3.5 years ago! But anyway, back to the original part of paragraph. I told her that I wasn't doing it to get pregnant. I was doing it for me. I want to be healthy. I want Kyle to have a healthy wife! I want our future children to have a healthy Mommy! Of course, I'm also doing it for vanity's sake. I don't want our adoption profile to get passed over because of my size! We have so much to offer a child! And if someone can't get past the first picture they see, then they will never know. And that is not okay!

Moving on to another tidbit (I probably should have bulleted this post! Haha!). We didn't get the house! ::sad face:: Our realtor called on Wednesday night and said that the sellers chose the other offer because it required less concessions on their part, up front. Which I think was pretty dumb of them. I guarantee the other offer was for the listed price, maybe a little less even! But they probably offered to pay closing costs. For our offer, we gave them the best that we could do. We offered enough to cover closing costs, plus almost $2g more than listed price! The only downfall to our offer was that upfront, they would have to come up with closing costs. But after it was done, they would have gotten it back, and then some! Oh well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be! Though they did tell us that if something fell through, we would be the first ones called. I'm not holding my breath though! So I guess for now, we probably won't buy. Kyle didn't find anything else out there that he loved. Originally we thought that we would find a short term rental and keep looking. But then I reminded him that if we do that, we're going to have to postpone finishing up the home study so that we don't have to pay more to update it, if we were to move part way through. And since clearly, that is the most important thing, it looks like we'll just have to find a long term rental. And I'm okay with that. Owning a house isn't that important to us, but becoming parents definitely is!

And last but not least, before this blog becomes a novel (which I have a terrible habit of doing! I can't help it! I'm a talker! Just imagine if you know me in person! LoL). Kyle is currently out to sea. But this should be his very last time EVER!!! That makes me so happy! We should finish out our time on shore duty in New York, and then good-bye Navy life! He'll be home in less than two weeks. And then it is definitely crunch time! We are moving in just over a month! And I am getting overwhelmed just thinking about it! But holding on to the excitement of starting the adoption process keeps me going! I cannot wait!!! I have quite a few adoptive moms/moms-in-waiting blogs in my blogroll. And they are all at different stages in the process. And just reading them gets me so excited! I hope we have as great of an experience as some of them have! It's a scary thing to start, and I'm terrified of what could go wrong, but without risks, there are no rewards!

And on that note, I am out of here! I have a photo shoot this afternoon, and that always puts me in a good mood! I hope you are all having a fabulous weekend! I'll leave you with a fantastic song, that is one of my inspirational go-to-songs!

Week Three Weight Loss

I should have posted this yesterday, but just never got around to it. So at the end of my third week, I am down 9 pounds! Yay! I'm glad that the weight is still coming off! I keep thinking that one day soon it's just going to stop and I'm going to plateau and/or gain it all back. I have a follow up appointment on Friday, with my doctor. Hopefully she's as pleased with my progress as I am!

Kyle's trip to New York went well. And, he found us the perfect house! But of course, there is always a snag. Someone else had already put in an offer, and their offer had been accepted. But wait, it's not over just yet! Their offer hasn't been made official. Meaning, they haven't sent it to their lawyer to make it a legal contract. Once we heard that, we jumped to action! Kyle called the company that we're doing our mortgage through, and then Kyle, mortgage guy, and our realtor started crunching numbers and figuring out what the absolute best offer we could give them was. He got home late Friday night, and first thing Saturday morning, we submitted our offer! We should know either way, by Wednesday. I really love this house! And the wait is killing me! Luckily, it's only a few more days, at most! Here is a link to the online posting.



Kyle leaves again tomorrow. He'll be gone for another two weeks. But, this will be his last time to go out to sea before we move! And hopefully, his last time out to sea ever!! YAY!!! Gosh, I'm not going to know what to do once I get to see him everyday! Haha!

Anyway, I need to get off here. He needs some laundry done. And we're going to have a late lunch/early dinner with some friends. These three guys are so sweet! They're all in a relationship together. They are all three so different but work so well together! I just love them! Definitely going to miss them for sure! I'm so worried that I won't be able to find any new gay friends when we move! It's very small town there! But hopefully, it won't be too bad!

Okay, I'm going for real this time! I'll keep you updated on the house situation!!! Fingers crossed, everyone!

How about a wah burger and some french cries!

I am so tired! I had to wake up way early this morning to take Kyle to the airport. Blah. And then, when I dropped him off, I totally cried! I am such a wiener! He's only gone for four days! And, he's gone all of the time, usually for much longer than only four days. And I never cry then! The only time I have cried was when he left for deployment. But that was for 7 months! Not 2-3 months! So it was totally legit! Needless to say, I was a little surprised by myself when I started weeping. I think what got me this time was that when he goes out to sea, I know that he's going to work, and he has to go. But this time, it's not work. And plus, I really really wanted to be able to go! But because my hours at my job as a nanny have been cut way back recently, it just wasn't happening.

But he made it safely to his destination! I talked to him just a bit ago and he was getting ready to go to bed. He's meeting with our realtor in the morning, and will probably be doing some mega house hunting for the next two days! They have so many on the list to see!!! Hopefully he finds us something great! I told him that he better take a ton of pictures of each house! We'll see how well he follows through with that one! He's so used to me taking a billion pictures of everything, he sometimes forgets that I'm not there documenting things for us! Haha!

This girl is done for the night! Tiffy, out!

Week Two Weight Loss

So compared to last week, this week was a fail! I only lost one pound! Even though I know that is still good, and last week was unusal, I was a tad disappointed. BUT, 6 pounds in two weeks is still really good! And, I can even tell just a teeny tiny difference in my "love handles"! LoL I don't think anyone else can, but I can and that's what matters! I'm a big girl, but lucky for me, I carry my weight pretty well! My mid section, AKA spare tire, is exactly that! My giant love handles drive me nuts! But, like I keep saying, I'm workin' on it!

When Kyle is home, it definitely makes it harder to eat better! For instance, right now, he is in the kitchen cooking bacon. What is wrong with that man?! LoL Luckily, I have already eaten a banana and two cups of coffee so I'm not hungry. Damn the man, trying to bring me down! Hehe!

Today, we're going to take the ferry over to Bremerton. It's supposed to be sunny this afternoon, which should make for a beautiful ride! It takes about an hour, and I think we'll walk on, instead of taking the car, so hopefully it won't be cold and rainy! But this is Seattle, so you never can tell! But if it's nice, I will definitely have my camera in tow!

Anyway, I have added links to my Twitter and Facebook over on the side bar. Please feel free to add me!! I would love to get to my readers a little more!

I love him.

Kyle is finally back at home! Even though he was only gone for 3 weeks, it felt like forever this time! The funny thing is that for us, 3 weeks is nothing! Most people are like, "only 3 weeks? Seriously? I can't stand to be away from my husband for more than a day! I don't know how you do it!" I love that people think that I do it voluntarily! Haha! Yah, not so much! Anyway, he's back at home, and we've both had the week off together! It's been really nice! I've even been dragging him to the gym with me! He leaves again on Tuesday for four days. He's flying to New York to go check out some houses. I really wish I was going, but we just couldn't afford to both go. Boo hiss! Luckily, he knows what he's doing, he knows what I like and dislike, and he's very good with stuff like that. We're hoping he'll find something that he can bring home to show/tell me about, and if we love it, we can put in an offer, and be closed/closing on it by the time we get out there at the end of March! Wishful thinking though, I'm sure!

This week has been one of those "all about babies" weeks! Three pregnancy announcements, four gender announcements, one birth, and lots of my planning, on my part, for my best friend's baby shower next month. See?! I told you! I'm handling it pretty well. It is what it is. And after 3.5 years, I definitely cope a lot differently. Cope! Haha! Get it? Get it?! (Hint: My last name is Cope! LoL) Easily amused, what can I say?

Well this lady is tired! And I've got to wake up bright and early to go get my sweat on! I'll be back on Saturday for my weekly weight loss update!

Week One Weight Loss

Today is the end of my first week of working out and eating less. And I am down 4 pounds!! I was so excited! That is an excellent start! Here's hoping to that trend keeping up! My current short term goal is to be down 15-20 pounds when we start our cross country trip at the beginning of March. That might be overly optimistic, but you've got to have goals, right?


On that trip, we're going to stop in Texas to see my brother and his newly pregnant wife(can you sense the excitement? LoL) Then from there, we'll go up to Arkansas, where we will spend about a week with our families. My parents, grandparents, and his Mom and Step-Dad live in the same town, and the rest of his family lives about an hour from there. When we leave AR, we'll stop for an over night stop in VIrginia to see his brother, his brother's wife, and their litte boy. And then from there, we'll finish out our trip to our new home in upstate New York! Gosh, I'm exhausted just thinking about the driving! And since we have two cars, and the Navy doesn't pay to ship one within the country, we both have to drive seperately! Boo! IT will be super lonely! When we came out here from South Carolina, Kyle had a different, smaller car that we were able to tow with my SUV. But his current car is bigger. But maybe, just maybe we can sell mine before we leave! That would be great! We'll see though! I'm not holding my breath!

Anyway, this girl needs to get her butt up and do something! Going to have dinner and drinks with the girls at a piano bar tonight! And then Kyle comes home on Monday! I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!!

Suck.

This sucks. I am so stressed out lately, and I hate it! I never let things stress me out. But between everything we've got going on, our money situation is not looking optimal. I don't know how or if things are going to work out. If it's between buying a house or adopting, clearly the answer is adoption. But I don't even know if we even get to choose one at this point. We aren't quite sure how things are going to go. This past year, we were not super great with our finances, and we're paying for that now. But seriously, who anticipates having to go "buy" a baby for $20,000+! Not me! That's for damn sure. And I'm sure that most people don't generally move across country, buy a house, and start the adoption process, all with a few months time!

It just sucks because, as always, things aren't going our way. If you have known us for very long, you know that Kyle and I have a history of major things in life failing big time. I don't get it. It just doesn't make sense. We are the good people that bad things happen to. The one main thing that has worked out for us is our marriage! Thank God for that, because we don't have much else! That's for damn sure!

We aren't going to give up. We're going to keep trying, and hopefully succeed. I know right now, I'm extra emotional(Good Morning, Flo!). And I know that in a few days, I'll be much more level headed. I'm just so frustrated and sad right now! Ugh! I'm all cried out for this evening. Time for bed.

But real quick before I go, to all of my girls that are getting ready to adopt or that have recently adopted, how did you do it? Financial wise? Loans? Savings? Grants? Family help? Any advice is greatly appreciated it! And if you don't feel comfortable leaving it on the comment section, you can email me at tiff_nichole03@hotmail.com

Ugh.

I'm so annoyed! My doctor's office called me this morning to let me know that when they tried to put through my referral to a nutrionist, it was denied. Apparently Tricare doesn't cover that. WTF?! Really? I don't get that. But they do cover a very large percentage of weight loss surgery! So they won't let me see a nutrionist to get help, but they'll fork over $10 grand for the surgery?? That is so ridiculous to me! A lot of people complain about Tricare (for those that aren't familiar, it is the military's health insurance). But I usually don't have any issues, except when it comes to referrals. Back when I first tried to get a referral to a fertility doctor, it was kind of a pain. And then, when I tried to get a referral to the military treatment facility that is about an hour and half south of me (they do IVF there for way less than a civilian fertility clinic), they wouldn't give it to me because it was "too far away". Ugh. I guess I'll have to figure something else out now...which scares me because I really don't think I can do this on my own! Guess we'll find out!

In other news, I think I'm getting a cold, or a sinus infection. Either way, no fun! I'm stuffy/runny, my sinuses hurt, and I've got a cough. Great. Thanks wonky weather!

I'm definitely looking forward to going out for drinks with a few of my favorite ladies tonight! And then this weekend, a friend is coming back in town and we're going to a piano bar! Always a good time! Kyle will finally be home next week! Hooray! It's only been 2 weeks, but I miss him!

Oh! And today I had my first work-out with the new meds, and it was great! I was able to get in a good work-out, and felt fantastic afterwards! I have discovered a few unpleasant side effects though. I have been getting a headache in the evening, somewhat insomniatic, and my mouth/food tastes like arm pit! Though I don't know if that is a terrible thing! Makes you not want to eat if it tastes terrible! Hahaha!

Heifer needs some help!

And by heifer, I mean me! LoL I have struggled with my weight for years. Back in high school, I was skinny, and hot!! Haha! And now, I'm the big girl. And I hate it! Last year, while Kyle was deployed, I busted my ass at the gym! For 7 months! And for all of my hard work, I only lost 25 pounds and was down not even two pants sizes! And that is frustrating! Yes, they say "that's the healthy way" "you'll keep it off losing it slowly" blah blah blah. But I call bullshit! I have gained it all back! And its barely been over a year. My weight never plateaus, it's constantly going up. I finally decided to seek some help. I called and set up an appointment with my doctor. She is going to get me a referral to a nutrionist. And she also prescribed me some meds to help me get started. They will help curb my appetite. Combined with diet and exercise, I should hopefully see some results! She only gave me a month's supply. When they are gone she wants me to come back in and see how it's going. From there, she may let me do one more month of the pills. But probably no longer than that. They are meant for short term use. I started taking them yesterday, and I can say that I am a fan! I've felt great! I haven't been hungry, but I am making sure to still eat. But since I'm not hungry, I'm making much smarter food choices. Well, mostly anyways. LoL I'm hoping that once I can get in to see a nutritionist, they'll help me get on the right path to eating better! I'm going to try to put my all into this! I have got to do something! And especially with us adopting this year, that is great motivation! I don't want to be the "fat mom"! And right now, I would be.

Well, that's all I've got for now! I will try to keep you guys posted on my progress! Wish me luck!

I can't sleep tonight. For the past two nights I've just been really weepy. I don't know what my deal is. Okay, I lied. I totally know what my deal is. Damn PMS. I'm a big baby anyways, but when I'm PMSing, it's on overdrive! Throw in the stress of moving across country, trying to find a house, adoption, trying to figure out how we're going to pay for it all, and I'm a hot mess!

Part of me wants to flash forward 3 months so that all of this is over! I want to have a house, and have all of our adoption paperwork submitted. But then, part of me isn't ready to go yet. Moving means leaving behind my friends, leaving behind the life that I've known for the last three years, leaving behind familiarity. I have incredible friends! And I know that I will never make any that I will become closer to. Several of the friends I have here will be life long friends. And I'm going to be so sad to leave them behind!

I'm just overwhelmed. I know that in a couple of weeks, I'll be leveled out and more apt to deal. But for the next week, I'm having a freak out moment.

It's late and I need to go to bed. This post didn't really have anything of substance it it. But like I say, I blog how I think.
Tiffy out.

Boo hiss!

I have finally found an agency that I really liked! Well, a second one that I really liked. The first one isn't currently taking new families. I finally got to talk to the guy on the phone this morning. He had told me in an email that it wouldn't be a problem that I'm not in New York yet. But apparently we weren't on the same page. He said it would be better to wait to start the homestudy paperwork until we were actually there. But I can go ahead and fill out the registration paperwork as soon as I receive it in the mail later this week. Bummer. I thought for sure we could get a lot of it out of the way! But since it's mostly time sensitive stuff, he said it would be pointless to do it now. Oh well, luckily we'll be out there soon! I'm just anxious to get it done! For the time being, I will just make sure I get all of the things together that we will need (birth certificates, marriage liscense, W2s, pet shot records, ect.).

I guess I better go get ready for work. I'm finally going back to my normal schedule today. It's about time!

Smile.

We finally got orders!! Peace out Pacific Northwest! Hello New York! Kyle has to report no later than April 20th. Add in our travel time and house hunting time, we'll probably be leaving here around March 10th. That's only two months away! Holy crap! So much to do and so little time to do it!

I think that if it weren't for getting the adoption process started once we move, I wouldn't be very willing to leave yet! But that alone makes me want to leave next week! I cannot wait! Speaking of adoption, a good friend of mine who is also going through adoption, her baby boy was born today!! She got to be in the room with birth mom during labor and delivery. I'm so excited for them!! They have to wait 5 days to sign consent papers, and then they can return to their home state with their new baby! I cried when she texted me to tell me that he had arrived! Not only because I'm so happy for them to finally be parents, but also because it hits close to home! I can't wait for that to be us! Congratulations to them!!

I have so much to say but can't really form it into blog form right now. I blame too much coffee! Haha! Hopefully I'll be able to pull it together and post again soon.

For now, I leave you with this video. I love the lyrics of this song. It's so very hopeful and optimistic. I definitely have to think of our infertility issues when I hear it. I've always been a very optimistic person. Always trying to find the upside. This song applies perfectly! And because I'm such a nerd, I LOVED the Glee cover of it! I don't know about y'all, but I loved that show! Anyways, I hope you all have a great week!

And just like that, it's gone!

The work-up to Christmas is so crazy busy! And then, just like that, it's over! Was Santa good to you this year?

Last night, I was checking out some new blogs and I came across several that I really liked! I was looking for other bloggers who are going/have gone through the adoption process. I also found quite a few very resourceful websites that I have bookmarked! I found this one page that had, not only lots of adoption bloggers, but also links to important/useful adoption web pages and helpful logs of her own. http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/ But one post, in particular, really hit home for me. It was a post on supporting family members who are going through adoption. It was kind of long, so I won't copy and paste the whole thing. But if you are someone in my family, or even there is someone in your family who is or has done adoption, you should definitely check out this link. http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2008/09/supporting-family-members-who-are.html

Other than that, Christmas has come and gone. As much a I love Christmas, I'm kind of glad. This is always one of the hardest times of the year for me. I think becomes the holidays are so centered around family. And between living far from our families, and not being able to start a family of our own yet, it's pretty rough. And even though our "starting" point anniversary is in September, it's always Christmas that makes me realize how long it's been. I think because every Christmas I'm always like, "Surely by next Christmas we'll have a baby!". But no.

Anyways, another year and come and [almost] gone. We're still hanging tough. We're just waiting to get this process started!

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, and has a Happy New Year!!

One other thing...

Tonight, I was hanging out with my two best friends. Erin, who is pregnant, and Sabrina, who just had a baby almost a month ago and also has a 5 and a 2 year old. Because we're together all of the time, we always joke around that her kids are also our kids. I was holding the baby, and we had been joking around that she was an accident and that I didn't even want her and that I was jealous of people who used birth control correctly. (I make the best of things and try to laugh about my infertility whenever possible). Anyways, her 5 year old daughter was in the room and whispered something into Brina's ear and then ran off. She had told her Mom that she was pretty sure that I was jealous of the baby. And she is so right. Even a 5 year old can pick up on it, from hearing a conversation that wasn't even about that. How sad is that? Kids are so damn perceptive.

Big Girls Don't Cry...

..the hell they don't! This one does!

Generally, I don't have a lot of stress in my life. There are "stressful" times, but usually nothing too big. But my goodness, right now I am so stressed out! I am stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, and just an overall feeling of defeat. And what really sucks about it is that we haven't even done anything yet! I can only imagine how high these levels are going to climb in the next few months. I cannot stop thinking about the move and adoption, and all that comes with both of those things. Every time I go to look at real estate pages or adoption agencies online, I get overwhelmed and immediately close the window! And now, we just found out that the detailer needed another paper from Kyle(even though he's asked him 20 times if he had everything he needed!), and this paper has to get routed around, and generally takes about a month to get done, but probably a little longer with the holidays. Which means that there is a good chance that they're eventually going to be like, okay here are your orders, you leave in 3 weeks! Seriously? Why am I not surprised? When does anything ever go like we planned it to? Never. Which then gets me thinking about adoption. Nothing has ever gone our way in the past. Why should this? It's just a matter of time before something comes crashing down on our plans and ruins everything.

For anyone who has ever told an infertile that maybe they would get pregnant while they were adopting because they weren't thinking about it, or were more relaxed, WTF were you talking about?! There is nothing relaxing about this process. It definitely isn't "just adopting", as in the question, "why don't you just adopt?". I just really want it to work out so badly! We are so excited about it, and really hoping it all goes well!

On the subject of what people say to adopters, oh my gosh! If one more person tells me that they are "sorry to hear that we have to adopt", I'm going to start throwing punches. Seriously, that is so rude. Don't be sorry. We aren't! That is like telling someone who just announced their pregnancy that you are sorry to hear about it. Not okay. And I'm tired of people making me feel like adoption isn't as good as biological. It most certainly is! I'm not letting it affect how we feel about it, but it just hurts my heart that people actually think these things, and then have the audacity to say them to others!

I'm just being overly emotional tonight. It doesn't help that Kyle has only been home once in the last week and a half. And we have no idea when he'll be home. Ugh. I can't wait to leave here.

New York, New York!

That's right, folks! We accepted orders to New York. We haven't gotten the official orders yet, but should have them sometime in the next couple of weeks. That will tell us when we have to be in NY, so thereby telling us when we're leaving here. I'm guessing it'll be early March. Unless they interpret them to mean us being in NY by March. Which that might be a little too quickly for my liking! We're looking forward to leaving Washington and going somewhere new. But we're also still kind of bummed that we didn't get South Carolina. Here's to hoping we like living in New York!

Now that we know, I need to start filtering through some adoption agencies there. Hopefully we can find a couple that we really like. And maybe even check them out in person if we go there for house hunting leave.

I'm really nervous about starting over again! Once it happens and I adjust, I love change. But at first, I hate it! I get so scared, nervous, and anxious! This is definitely not even close to the first time I have moved and had to start over! We moved around a bit as kids, and then this will be my third major move with Kyle. I have never had a problem making friends, but I'm always scared that I'm going to this time! And I'm always scared about starting a new job, and being in a new place! But as always, I'm sure I will be just fine! I am incredibly sad to leave my friends though. I have the two most amazing best friends a girl could ask for! What am I going to do without them?!

STILL no word on orders. I'm so ready to know already! I've been super emotional lately and I know this is factoring into my current "need to know" feelings. We have been waiting for over three years. I think that's long enough. I know that there are people out there who have waited and are still waiting, for longer periods of time than this, but they shouldn't have to keep waiting either!

Yet another birthday came and went. And so did the birth of one of my best friend's baby! I was hoping she would have arrived on my birthday, but she missed it by a few hours. I was lucky enough to be a part of the labor and delivery. It was my third time to be able to be a part of that experience. This time was different though. Mostly because watching her go through it, I was incredibly jealous. It really hit close to home and reminded me that it is something that I will probably never get to experience firsthand. I'm so happy for her. I'm so happy for all of my pregnant friends/friends with kids. And seeing her with this new one, fills me with love. She is such a great Mom! Not only to this one, but to her two others as well. She has the most well-behaved and loving children of anyone I know. But seeing her with the new baby always fills me with sadness. More than anything, I want to have those feelings that she has right now. Holding a brand new baby and knowing that she is all yours. Knowing that you are this tiny person's whole world. And knowing that you have never felt as much love as you do that very minute. Instead, when I hold a baby I get the feelings of knowing that I have to give him back, knowing that he doesn't know me by smell or sound, and knowing that I might not ever get to feel what most of my friends have already felt. Getting pregnant is something that so many women take for granted. They're too busy complaining about the bad, to really stop and think about how lucky they really are.

Happy Quarter Life Crisis to Me!

Today is my 25th birthday! I have been waiting for this birthday for a long time. Mostly because 25 is my favorite number. And it always seemed like an ideal age. This year, I'm 25 on the 25th! That makes me smile! Seriously folks, it's the little things in life! Along with the birth of yours truly, here are some other significant things/people that turned 25 this year! My Little Ponies (hell yes!), Tetris (the only game that I actually like!), Katy Perry, Macintosh, Prince Harry, The Ronald McDonald House, Scarlett Johansson, Burt's Bees, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(very significant), and Khloe Kardashian just to name a few. 1984 was a good year! (Seriously, how old do you feel now?)

I've got a lot of hope for this next year. I'm hoping my year of being 25 will be a great one! We will be moving, possibly buying a house, and starting (and maybe even possibly hopefully finishing) the adoption process. I think 25 would be a great year to finally become a Momma! I also hope to take some more photography classes this year, after we get moved. And I also want to lose some weight(already got that ball rolling, ever so slowly). I hope this year is a good one!

Later today, I will be celebrating with my bests. Lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant! Yum! That is, assuming that Brina doesn't go into labor, causing us to have a birthday party at the hospital! Though, I am secretly hoping that Jessa will make her appearance today! I would love to share my birthday with her! Anyways, if Jessa doesn't arrive, after lunch, I will spend the rest of the afternoon with my Boo!

And then, this weekend, we're all going out to dinner in Seattle at The Pink Door. Super fun!

With that, I am off to bed! This girl has got a 9 a.m. photo shoot!

Happy Birthday to me!!!

My poor Boo!

Kyle is sick. Poor guy! He has the flu. Not sure whether it's the regular flu or H1N1. Not that it really matters either way. He was supposed to still be stuck on the ship, but he got sick so they sent him home yesterday morning. He's staying home again tomorrow, I'm guessing he'll go back on Sunday. And then will hopefully be home again on Wednesday. His fever spiked really high this morning and we were getting ready to go to the ER, but luckily it came down and hasn't gotten much higher than 102 the rest of the day. Hopefully it stays down all night, and we don't have to make a late night trip to the ER. And hopefully I don't catch it either! Especially with Jessa's birth approaching. I am going to be one of Brina's "birthing partners". But if I'm sick, I won't be able to be in the delivery room!! I will be heartbroken! She's being induced on the 30th, but there is always the chance that she could go into labor before then.

I finally added some new pictures to my photography page. http://photographybytiffany.shutterfly.com/
Go look!

It's really looking like we'll be going to New York. It's still not official, but that's the way it seems to be leaning. I'm kind of bummed about that because I found out that New York has a 30-45 day consent revoking period on adoption. South Carolina is an irrevocable state. But so is Massachusetts, which is right next to New York. That might be a possible option to consider...

I have been off work all this week, and again all next week too. My bosses are both on vacation, so I wasn't needed. It's been nice for me! But sucky for my paycheck. But I have been managing to get back in the gym these past couple of weeks. And I plan to continue. This big girl has got to do something!!! Homegirl is getting hefty!!

We also had a change of plans for next weekend's birthday dinner. The Melting Pot was giving me the run around for making reservations for a large group. So we have decided to go to The Pink Door instead! www.thepinkdoor.net/ This place is supposed to be really neat! I'm excited!

Anyways, my sick husband is calling! Time to go play nurse again! Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

A little of this. A little of that.

Kyle is stuck on the ship for awhile. They're fast cruising, which means they're pretending to be underway, but they're really not. It's dumb. But luckily, Kyle came home for awhile today. Even though I am more than used to him being gone all the time, I still miss him whenever he's gone! Even if it's only been 4 days since I've seen him! More than likely, I won't see him again until at least the 23rd. I hope they can stay on schedule so that he will make it home for my birthday on the 25th!! And then hopefully he's also home for Thanksgiving, and then that Saturday is our big November birthdays dinner at The Melting Pot. I'm really excited for it!!

I am so annoyed with my dentist. Three weeks ago, I had my regular check-up and cleaning. I had a tooth that needed a filling. It wasn't giving me any problems prior to this. I went back in the next week to get it fixed. Several days later, it was hurting! I called, they had me come back in, and they grinded it down, adjusting my bite. He said to give it several days, Well almost a week later, it was still hurting! I couldn't chew on it! So I go back in, and they completely replaced the filling. That was on Wednesday. Well today, it feels like it did before he replaced the new filling. Ugh. I'm so annoyed. I really do not want to go back in AGAIN to get a third filling in the same tooth, in three weeks! Not okay. If I do go back, I will be asking for a different dentist to fix it this time.

I am dog sitting this week. My best, Erin, went home for a visit, and I'm looking out after her poochies. She has a teacup yorkie and a teacup pom. They are so cute and so sweet! I always look after them for her, and luckily my cat and dog don't mind having them around either.

Still no word on orders. No idea when we'll know something. Kyle emailed his detailer, and he told him that we were hoping to get some adoption paperwork started ASAP. But we couldn't until we knew where we were going, so if there was anyway he could help us get orders sooner, that would be great! We'll see!

Anyways, I guess I'm done rambling on for now. I wish I had something more significant to blog about, but I don't right now! I hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend!

Tick tock! Let's go Navy. Where are we going to be going next??

We found out last week that there is a 50/50 chance that we might end up going to Saratoga Springs, NY instead of Charleston, SC. We really want Charleston. We loved it there! I won't be completely upset if we go to New York, but it's definitely not my first choice. Hopefully we'll know something for sure in the next month or two...but how long have I been saying that?! Haha!

I talked to a lady at an adoption agency in Charleston. She was really nice and really helpful! I think that if we end up there, we may end up going through them as one of our agencies. She told me that once we find out where we'll be going for sure, that we can definitely start some of the paperwork ahead of time! That was good news! I figured there was nothing I could do until we got there! She sent me 3 emails full of attachments for forms and things that we could get started on. But she did say that I should wait. If we end up going to New York, instead of Charleston, the paperwork would probably be a lot different. No sense in wasting time!

I just finished "Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother". It was such a good book! She went through so many of the same feelings that I have been having. And many more that I'm sure I will have! If you are going through, considering, or even already have adopted, I really recommend this book! I started to read, "So You Want to Adopt...Now What?", but I couldn't finish it. It's written from a very strong Christian point of view. And I did not agree with a lot of what they said. For example, they said that they didn't agree with single parent adoption. And that is just one thing that I found offensive. Good thing they didn't give their opinion of gay couples adopting. I can only imagine "how terrible" they would have found it to be. And I'm just not okay with people who think they have the right to say how other people should live their lives. I put it down, and don't intend on picking it back up. But I am excited to read the other two! They seem to have potential!

A few days ago I posted an ad on Craigslist for a baby swing. I got this swing almost a year ago, with a ton of other baby stuff! A good friend of mine moved to Japan and couldn't take all of this barely used(and by barely used, I mean less than 3 weeks!) baby gear with her. Since we knew that at some point we would need it, we bought it from her. She gave us an incredible deal on a crib, changing table, swing, bouncer, bathtub, and diaper genie! I plan on keeping most of it, but I don't love this particular swing. Anyways, I posted an ad on CL about how it was given to me, blah blah blah. Didn't go into details. This morning, I received an email from a woman, who was not very polite! She said that I had some nerve to try to sell something that was given to me! And shame one me when there are young mothers out there who can't afford things for their babies! And how dare I think that was okay while I sit on my lovely couch while reaping the benefits of something that was given to me! I could not believe what I was reading! Who does that?! I wrote her back and told her how dare she assume anything about me! I'm guessing I made her feel like an asshole, by telling her that while those young mothers couldn't afford things, at least they could have babies! And that I was trying to sell the swing to put it towards our adoption fund! She never wrote me back. I searched her email address on Myspace and this woman is 42 years old with three grown children and two grandchildren. Who the hell acts like that?? Whatever. I'm definitely not letting her get to me.