Fail.

After much deliberation, I deleted my last post. I thought it was absolutely hysterical, and silly, and so ridiculous that nobody would take it seriously. But unfortunately a couple of people disagreed. Normally I don't care what other people think, but it was two important people in my life. Kyle being one, and an old family friend who has worked in a state job with social services for years being the other. She reminded me that some agencies use Facebook and other public forums (i.e. Blogger) to see what kind of person you really are. Now normally, I'm like a loud and proud gay man with who I am. And I don't like to pretend I'm someone I'm not. But Kyle's point was that this was something that was directly related to our adoption. And he just didn't think it was smart. I feel like a hypocrite deleting that post, but how can I argue something like that with my husband, you know? He is as big of a part of this process as I am. So alas, it's deleted. Someone please stroke my ego and tell me that it doesn't make me an impostor?! I am glad that the few of you that had a chance to comment on it found it as amusing as I did. And I love knowing that I have friends that know how to take a joke! But I guess everyone doesn't possess that ability. *shrugs* What can you do right? But anyway, there you have it. It's gone now.

Follow me! Pretty please?!

I'm thinking that when I reach 50 followers I'm going to do a give-away! Not sure what I'll give away, just yet...any suggestions? Should it be something baby related, since most of my followers are doing the adoption thing? Or should it be something for big kids? An original photo by Tiffany? Books? A box full of random goodies, like my PLP Sabrina just did? Hmm...but I'm only at 27 now, so please feel free to share my blog with others who have similar interests! Whore me out, k? Hehe! And if you're a random stalker who stops in often, follow me, and say hello! I'm nosey and love to know who's following me around the interwebs!

I am so ashamed of myself. Today, I had to go to the post office. I didn't want to leave my house as it was, because I started this morning and had some killer cramps. But my brother and SIL's baby shower is this weekend, so I HAD to mail the gift so that it would get there in time. Anyway, I also needed to stop into CVS, which is right across the street. And when I left, I really wanted a coffee. But I didn't feel like going the extra 5 minutes into Saratoga to go to my beloved Star.bucks. It's not a drive-thru so I would have had to find parking and blah blah blah! Plus, I was looking a hot mess! So I did the unthinkable. I went to Dunkin.Donuts! *gasp* LoL And of course, I was sorely disappointed. Their coffee just isn't as good. Fail! Guess that's what I get for thinking I could cheat on my first love! *giggles*

Kyle started swing shift today. with his current command, he'll rotate shifts every 7 days. TOday he started the 2 p.m. to midnight shift. Then after 7 days, he'll get almost two days off, then go to nights, then two days off, then days, and two days off, then four days of training, then a 4 day weekend. Aaaaannd repeat! Seems like it sucks, but trust, it is waaaaaaaaaay better than when he was on the ship! He was never home! Gone out to sea all of the time, and when they were home, every 3rd night he had to spend the night on the ship for duty. So I will take this rotating shift work any day!

Thanks for the input on my last post! I wasn't calling anyone out, in particular. This is something that I have been thinking about posting for forever! But never got around to it. And then, when two of the blogs that I followed went private within a week of each other, it reminded me of the post.

I'm off to dope myself up with Midol and chocolate! Someone come over and make me that box of brownies that is in my pantry! Triple chocolate! *drools* Now, where the eff is my heating pad?!

Just curious...

A lot of the blogs that I follow are either private or anonymous. And I know that everyone has their own reasons for why, but I want to know what YOUR reason is. Why do you either a.)have you blog where only people you invite can view it. Or b.)You don't reveal personal information, including name, general location, photos, etc. Like I said, I've just always wondered what people's reasons were.

For me, I have everything out in the open because that's just who I am. I don't do secrets, I tell people my life story (whether they want to hear it or not! HA!), and I use our real names and general location. *shrugs* To me, there is nothing that needs to be private. And when we have kids, I will definitely be putting their pictures and real names on here. None of that nickname stuff, unless it's just a silly nickname that I use, in addition to their real name. I never understood the people who make theirs private so that "weirdos out there can't see their child". Just seems silly, but I know a lot of people do it!

So there's your discussion for today! Tell me why you choose to have your blog public or private, and why you choose to use your real information or not. And if you are in the process of waiting for your baby, do you plan on posting names or photos of your child? No judgement! Just looking for some insight! Discuss amongst yourselves - *said in best Bronx accent* And report back here!

Mmmm, cheesecake!

Thursday I went and hung out with my new boss-to-be, and the girls! Katie and Maddie are just dolls! They have grown so much since the last time I saw them, a month and half ago. They are almost 6 months old, but they each only weigh around 11 pounds! But then again, their adjusted age is only 3 months old. They are tiny, but both doing so great! I can't wait to hang out with them every day! Tomorrow, I get my first trial run. I will be baby-sitting them all day. And then June 1st, I start full time! I will be sure to take some pictures of them tomorrow!

I was so nervous to tell Melissa that we were going to be adopting. She had said that she didn't want a nanny with children. I was afraid she would want to find someone else when she found out that sometime soonish, we will have a baby. But she wasn't! She was really excited for us, which was great! She even said that she would hang on to all of the girls' clothes, in case we get a girl! Yay for freebies! I also found out that she is a former IFer herself, so she has been there and done that, and knows what it's like! I hate having that in common with someone, but it's also nice to have someone who knows what it's like.

Everything on the adoption front is going really well! We are now just waiting for all of our clearences. Oh and Kyle has to do his physical, but that's on Thursday. Hopefully everything goes through quickly! I've been working on the profile too! I've got 6 pages done so far, plus the Dear Birth Mother letter. It's not a lot, but I'm getting there! Our profile can be up to 24 pages! Seems like a lot! But that's okay, because I have a ton of pictures!

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend! Smooches!

Little of this, little of that.

I was finally able to finish the first draft of our match letter. I know that I will change it at least a few more times, but like you guys kept telling me, getting the first draft out of the way is the hardest part. That part is all downhill from here, right? I also have mailed all of the paperwork back to the agency except our physical forms that have to be filled out by the doctor. I have an appointment on Wedesday for that, and hopefully Kyle will make his appointment tomorrow for as soon as possible. I can't wait for all of our forms to clear so that we can get started with the social worker! ::squee!!!::

I got my digital scrapbooking software in the mail today! I decided to do our profile digitally so that when the agency needs more copies, after the initial 5, all I will have to do is just print out more pages, instead of doing it by hand. I went with the Memory Mixer 3 software, and so far it seems like a lot of fun! Hopefully I can create some neat pages! So far, the one I did just seems kind of plain and lame. I need to be more creative, but I've never been much of a scrapbooker! This is the one I have done so far.


What else? What else? Hmm...on Thursday I'm going to go hang out with my new boss, and see the girls' routine. And then on Sunday, I'll be baby-sitting them all day, for the first time. Hopefully it goes well! But I'm not too worried about it. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work! Not only have I been getting bored, but i really enjoy being a nanny! It's a great job!

Anyway, I need to get to bed. I tucked Kyle in over an hour. Guess it's my turn now! Good night, Pretties!

Who wants a free ugly.doll?!

My best friend Sabrina is having an ugly doll give away over at her blog! She's giving a handmade ugly doll to the person who has the most referrals, and then one to a random new follower! They are so ugly, that they're cute! And who wouldn't love to add one of these to their collection of things for baby?? Go here and tell her that I sent you! We both win! So go go go! Right now!

I'm stuck.

I have been trying to write our "Dear Birth Mother Letter". And I am having some trouble. Did you guys have a hard time writing it? I just keep thinking, how do you write a letter to someone that you've never met, telling them why you would be a better parent to their child than they would be? And I know that isn't what this letter is for, but when it comes down to it, it kind of is. Expectant mothers are reading these profiles, searching for the perfect family to parent their child. But I'm just struggling. I know that Kyle and I have so much to offer a baby. Everything from love, to financial security, to family, ect. But I just don't know how to put it in words without sounding like we're trying to sell ourselves. I want to be sincere and genuine. But I also want to make sure to show how great we really are, and how much we will love a child, and what wonderful parents we might be!

Everyone is telling me to just write what is in my heart. But there is so much in there, and it's patchy in places, and words disappear into the holes.

I know that it will come to me. But for right now, I'm kind of stumped. Other adopters, please tell me this is normal!!!

Days like today leave me smiling!

Today, not only did I mail a large packet of paper work to our agency, but our baby bedding also arrived! I LOVE it! The colors were very true to what it looked like online, but it's even more beautiful in person! I just sat on the floor staring at it and touching it. I cannot believe that this is the crib bedding for OUR baby! It's finally become more real! Hopefully by this time next year, there will be a baby, OUR baby, sleeping on this bedding in that crib! For the past nearly four years, I have always said that. "By this time next year, hopefully..." But this time, it's way more of a reality that it has ever been before. I have no words for how excited that makes me! It's almost finally our turn! And we have waited a very very long time! Hopefully it's smooth sailing from here!

I'm a little sad tonight. Not tremendously, but enough. I just feel like we aren't getting the excitement and support from several people who I thought would. And I know it's not because they don't care. And I'm willing to bet it is because they are worried about us getting our hopes up, then smashed. But it's not like that this time. I guess I just was hoping to be treated like a pregnant woman would get treated. I should have known better though. And I don't know if it's "fair" to expect that, but I think it is. Kyle and I are "expecting" our baby. The only difference is that we just don't know when ours will be here. Oh well. I know that most people don't know enough about adoption to know the rules, protocol, or how the prospective adoptive parents should be treated. Such is life, I suppose.

But either way, today was a good day and I'm not going to let that get me down! I mailed the packet off, I received a package, I had lunch with a couple of friends, and I bought a new purse and new shampoo today! Don't judge on the shampoo! It's exciting! I love to have at least 3 different sets in my shower at all times! Haha! It really is the small things in life!

I started and deleted this post several times. I have so much to say, but I don't know how to say it. I'm bitter, sad, and cranky today. I don't want to feel this way about a stupid, insignificant holiday, but I do. I cried last night and today. I have not cried over all of this mess in quite some time. Tears used to be a regular thing when we were TTC. But since adoption came into our lives, they've become and fewer and more far in between. But last night. I don't know what happened. But I cried. And then I cried again this morning. I've been pretty emotional lately, in general though. I don't know if it's because starting the home study process made things real, or what. Being reminded of how many of my friends are Moms today was no fun. I mean, I know who is a Mom. But today, everyone going on about how lucky they are to have their children, and what their kids made for them today, and how they couldn't wait to spend the day with their family. Of my friends in real life, there are only a very small handful of them that don't have kids. And mostly it's because they just haven't been ready yet. I only have one friend that I know in person who has struggled like I have. And she adopted her son in January. I wish we lived closer together. But she is always there to help me out and prove that their will be in end to this someday. I wish that I could sit down with all of my adoption bloggers and just hang out. Laugh, cry, eat, maybe have some cocktails. I love knowing that I "know" others who have been through/are going through the same things. But I hate that you are all just on this screen. Anyone want to road trip to upstate New York? LoL

I know this post is all over the place, but then again, mine usually are. Here's hoping to waking up in a better mood tomorrow. And if I don't wake up that way, then surely I will be after I drop off a large packet for the agency, at the post office!

And by the way, Happy Mother's Day to all of you Moms! Whether you have your babies already, waiting for your babies to come, and especially to those of you who have angel babies in Heaven. Big hugs to all of you! And I'm so glad that I can call you my friends! Thanks for always lending an ear...er...eye.

8 Things

Following the lead of my friends Brina and Beth, I decided to do my 8 Things Lists.

8 T.V. Shows I like to Watch:

1. Will & Grace
2. Glee
3. House
4. Weeds
5. True Life
6. 16 and Pregnant, and Teen Mom. It's a sick obsession! I can't help it!
7. Anything on HGTV
8. What Not to Wear

8 Favorite Places to Eat & Drink:

1. The Cheesecake Factory
2. The Melting Pot
3. Starbucks
4. Sonic
5. My Momma's Kitchen
6. Red Robin
7. Deep Creek Catfish. It's a must every time I go home!
8. The Circus Cafe. It's a new favorite, thanks to my new location!

8 Things I look Forward to:

1. Becoming a Mommy!
2. The Macready Family moving out here.
3. Building up a new clientele for my photography "business".
4. Exploring the beautiful state of New York!
5. Going to St. Louis to see my best and meet her new baby girl!
6. Putting together our nursery in the next few months.
7. Hopefully having some guests come out and visit us.
8. Starting my new job! Weird, I know! Haha!


8 Things I like about Fall (Change it to your favorite season):

1. Everything pumpkin!
2. Hot apple cider.
3. The colors.
4. The crisp air.
5. Being homestudy complete by then.
6. My birthday.
7. Halloween.
8. Everything! I love fall!


8 Things on my Wish List:

1. A baby.
2. Money for said baby.
3. Clothes, gear, and fun stuff for the baby! (I'm seeing a trend here...)
4. A new camera. I have my eye on the Nikon D90!
5. A video camera.
6. A new wardrobe. (A new body to go with it would be spectacular as well!)
7. A giant bathtub!
8. Another night out with all of my girls in Washington!



8 Things I’m Passionate About:

1. My marriage.
2. Family.
3. Friends.
4. Photography.
5. Adoption.
6. Animals.
7. Coffee.
8. Laughter.



8 Things I Learned From the Past:

1. Live and let live.
2. People love to try and give you unsolicited advice.
3. Manners matter.
4. Having sex does not always equal pregnancy! Or in my case, does not ever equal!
5. People don't really hate gossip and drama as much as they claim to.
6. Best friends are forever.
7. I am going to be one hell of a mommy some day!
8. And I have the best husband/friend/future daddy that I could ever hope for!


8 Places I would Love to go Visit/See:

1. Greece
2. Hawaii
3. Thailand
4. Norway
5. Australia
6. New York City. This one will be taken care of at least once in the next few years.
7. Brina's hometown!
8. Anywhere tropical, exotic, and beautiful!

Taking names and kicking ass!

That's what I'm doing to this giant packet of paperwork! We went and got fingerprinted yesterday. We still need to get our physicals done, but since we just moved to a new town, we have to find a new doctor. And then we have to go through all of the lame stuff with Tri.care to set up a new PCM blah blah blah. I'm waiting for one of the doctor's offices to call me back to confirm that they are taking new patients. Umm..what else? Oh I need to make copies of our W-2s and tax forms. I ordered copies of our birth certificate, waiting for those to get here. But tomorrow, I'm sending off a packet of everything that we have done, to our agency! Once the background checks, fingerprinting, and a couple of other random forms get cleared, we will be assigned to a social worker.

I'm so glad that it's finally happening! It's nice to have something to focus on. Especially with Mother's Day in a couple of days. Every infertile knows how much this day sucks. ::thumbs down to being sad all day:: Keep your heads up girls, our time will come!

Anyway, nothing else to report for now. This was my half-assed attempt at an update! Haha! Our computer was majorly broken, but Kyle got it fixed, kind of. And now, he needs it back to work on it some more. I'm our! Enjoy your weekends, lovelies!

It's finally here!

Good things happen when you put on a bra and venture outside! I found my GIANT packet of home study materials in there! YAY!

I was so super excited to open it up and check everything out! But my excitement quickly turned into being very overwhelmed! Oh. My. Gosh. I always knew how much there was to it. But seeing it, in person, on MY counter top? ::thud:: And then, the overwhelmed turned into angry. It makes me so angry at how much prospective adoptive parents have to go through. No one else has to complete a mountain of paper work, get finger printed, take classes, have a background check, get a physical, or pay thousands of dollars to take home their baby. I just don't get it.

But whatever. The fact of the matter is that after deciding months ago that we were going to adopt, waiting until we knew where and when we were moving, and finally getting settled into a new place, we can now officially begin the home study process! I have been waiting 6 months for this! Hopefully tomorrow, Kyle will get home from work at a decent time, and we can call our family advocate at the agency so she can go over it all with us. And then, once we send them another check, we will be assigned a social worker. Wouldn't it have just made sense to send it one check for all three things at the same time? Apparently not. ::shrugs:: But hey, what do I know? I'm just the wallet! And by I, I mean Kyle, since the Mrs. is currently not working! LoL

I'm excited to get going! I'm excited to put together our profile! I'm just excited! Any advice for the new kid at school? I've been hanging around out front all year, but they finally let me in! I'm cool! I'm funny! Be my friend?

Put on a happy face!

Still no package, but I holding out faith that it will be here in the next few days! They cashed our check on Thursday, so it can't be too far off right?

I am definitely seeing a resemblence between TTC and adopting, lots of waiting! Haha! But this waiting is so much more exciting and hopeful than with TTC. I've been realizing lately how glad I am that we were able to let go and move on. Maybe somewhere down the road, we'll want to try again, but for now, I am so completely excited about what is to come! I haven't felt this way since we first began trying to get pregnant, way back in 2006! Back when I was naive, and thought that having sex led to getting pregnant! ;) I can now start a sentence with, "WHEN we have our baby"! It's amazing, I tell you! A friend and I were talking the other day, and we realized that I would be the mother of a toddler when we leave here! The age range could definitely vary, but either way, a toddler! And that blows my mind! "Normal" people get to say that, not IFers. Normal women who decide that they would like to avoid a summer pregnancy so they're going to get pregnant in August, or who don't want to their baby to enjoy their first Christmas, so they plan to have their baby in January. Oh what that must be like to only have experienced the rejection of only a few pregnancy tests. But you know what, it's okay. It's okay because I'm getting my baby! It may not be through the conventional way. It may not be the normal path. But what is normal, anyway? And I can guarantee that my baby will be so loved, so appreciated, and so adored that it won't matter how he/she came to us! That's our baby, and that's all that matters!

So for today, I am happy! Who knows how long it will be until I hear another pregnancy announcement, or baby shower invite, or belly pictures, or seeing sweet tiny babies everywhere I go, and I come crashing down again. But I will enjoy it while it lasts, and continue dreaming of the day (that is hopefully not too far away) when I am holding my baby!

And in case the sweetness of this post didn't give you a toothache, here is the onesie I bought yesterday. It's kind of boy-ish, but I couldn't pass it up, because any child of my husband's will probably feel accordingly! Haha!


Now, I need to go put on a bra so that I can walk to the mailbox and check tha mail! Stay classy! ;)

Our first big purchase!

Yesterday we made our first big baby purchase! Well, minus the checks I have sent the agency so far! Haha! We bought our crib bedding! Yay! I'm so excited! We were going to wait, but I found a great deal and couldn't resist! Plus, I found this one months ago, and even after I kept looking, I never found one I liked more! So I know that this is the one! I can't wait to get it in the mail! I won't start decorating just yet. I'll probably wait like I had orginally planned, and start after we are homestudy complete, and "paper pregnant".

Here is a picture of it! The set comes with the crib quilt, the flat sheet, a bumper, a crib skirt, and the mobile. It's too cute!


Now if only I can find that wall decal somewhere. I have looked everywhere, but no luck! Hmph.

Well my dears, my wonderful husband has grilled a fantastic smelling dinner, so I must go! Hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend! I know I am!

I love the sound of silence!

It's a lovely quiet rainy day! Reminds me of Seattle a little bit! My house is silent, and it is wonderful! Kyle can't stand the quiet, so he always has something on when he's home!
I keep compulsively checking the bank account to see if our agency has cashed our check! Because when they do, that means that our packet should be here soon, thereafter!

I got an email from my new boss a couple of days ago, and she is so sweet! She gave me brief updates of how the girls are doing. I love that she's already making me feel like a part of their lives, even before I have started! I start June 1st, but will go for a day in May to shadow her, and see what their routine is like. I haven't told her yet that we are adopting. I was too nervous to, and I didn't want it to ruin my chance at getting the job. But I have decided that when I do see her in person, I'm going to tell her. But I just don't know how. I don't know how she is going to feel, because she wanted to hire a nanny who didn't have kids that she would bring with her. I don't know if it's because the twins were preemies, so they are extremely susceptible to illness. Or if it's because she wants someone to focus solely on them...I feel dishonest by not telling her yet. But Kyle made a good point. Since we aren't "paper pregnant" yet, there's really nothing to tell. If I was going to be pregnant, I wouldn't know until I actually was. And we aren't even eligible to adopt until we are paper pregnant, and home study complete. Any advice on how I should tell her, without her feeling the need to hire someone else? Or without her thinking that I was being dishonest by not disclosing that information up front? I want to remain with them, and I would like to continue working, even after we adopt. But I'm so nervous to tell her! Help!

Australia.

I found something that I wanted to share! It is such a great analogy to adoption, and I know most of you will really appreciate this, and understand it all too well! I found it as I was reading through Kelli's blog. And she had found it through this blog. Even though the article was written in 1995, and Wendi used it in 2007, it still applies! I hope you appreciate it as much as I did!

On Adoption: Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place, you've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip. So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait--and wait--and wait. Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!" After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat." "By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat. It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. (Isn't that the truth!) You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip. Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather then by air. People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are about to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy." You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.
By Diane Armitage printed in the April 21, 1995 "Dear Abby" column.

My packet is on it's way!

The agency called a couple of days ago! Finally! She gave us the option of coming in, or having them mail us our packet. Unfortunately since Kyle just got here, he can't take any time off yet, so we can't go there. But I put a check in the mail on Friday, and as soon as they receive it, they will be sending us our homestudy packet! YAY! I'm sure I won't be quite as excited once I see that mountain of paper work, and list of all of the stuff to do, but for now I am! Haha!

It's been really fun having Brina and Jessa around this week! They are here house hunting. Jessa is just a doll, and such a happy girl! She's been toted around all week, but she took it like a champ! And Brina is my PLP, so of course I love having her back! I can't wait for them to move here in June! Then I will get to see the whole family! Her kids are the closest thing we've got to having kids of our own! And I just love those babies!

I think we are going to be buying our crib bedding next week! I'm so excited! I was planning on waiting a little longer, but it's currently out of stock on Target.com! But luckily, I found it on e.bay! I told Kyle that we had to jump on it, just in case it gets discontinued! I know that probably won't happen, but I would be so sad if it did! And I know it's "the one" because I found it months ago, but it's still my favorite!

I've been kind of crappy and PMSing this last week. And I have decided that my body is a complete bitch. It won't work right and get pregnant, but by gosh it makes sure that my period shows up on a fairly regular schedule every single month! What kind of crap is that? If my lady parts aren't working right, I shouldn't have to get a period and cramps every month! Lame, body! Lame!

Alright, I'm out of here. I'm going to get in some last minute baby love on little miss Jessa! They're flying out tomorrow and I won't see her until June! Peace out, players!

No wonder the general public's perception is so skewed!

Have you seen "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" Well we watched it tonight. And overall, it was a good movie. A good romantic comedy! Anyway, so at the beginning of the movie, the couple is seperated. Into the movie you find out that they struggled with infertility. They briefly discuss the pain of it, the meds, the doctors, the scheduled sex, ect. They also talk about adoption. She wanted to, but he was scared. They're discussing this while they're still seperated. Long story short, they reconcile. And at the end, it shows them getting off a plane a carrying a baby girl from China! Yay! They showed how awesome adoption was! BUT! And here's the kicker! Not only is she carrying the Chinese baby girl, she is pregnant. Of course she is! Because hello! Everybody knows that when you adopt you end up pregnant! Ugh. It just put such a bad taste in my mouth. No damn wonder people have such a skewed vision! All the know is what they're told. And they're being told that once you relax, quit thinking about, and/or adopt, pregnancy happens! Ta-da! Amazing right?! ::throws hands in the air:: Whatever!

On a happier note, my best friend, Sabrina, will be here tomorrow! Her husband was supposed to be the one coming out here this week to house hunt, but last minute, they traded places. Now, her and baby Jessa are coming! And I could not be more thrilled! Looks like i'm going to have a busy week house hunting with her! I am, afterall, her stand-in husband! We aren't Platonic Life Partners for nothing!

Still waiting to hear from the agency. Hopefully it will be this week! I'm anxious to start the homestudy process! You know, so that I can get knocked up! ;)

Hope everyone had a fab weekend! And here's to your Monday not sucking! Do what I'm going to do, go get some Starbucks! Mmm! Yes please!

Another day, another deal!

I have another great deal to share with you! E.L.F. Cosmetics! I got 13 items for only $17.45! How great is that? Most of their basic make-up is only $1! They also have a professional line, that is a little better quality, and that stuff is only $3-5! I don't know about you, but I buy cheap make-up. Loreal, Maybelline, and Cover Girl are for me! I know they say that it's just so awful for your skin, but it's always worked just fine for me! The only time I've really splurged on make-up is when I bought Bare Minerals a couple of years ago. And while it was great, I couldn't justify the price to keep on buying it. It wasn't THAT great! Haha! So if you're like me, and you don't mind the cheap stuff, check them out! www.eyeslipsface.com/elf I also found this website! www.retailmenot.com They have a ton of coupons! Both online codes and printable. Seriously, who doesn't love a great deal?! I used a code there for the make-up and got 50% off the first $15, which was practically my whole order! If it hadn't been for the $7 shipping, I would have made out even better. But seriously, I can't complain about it!

Anyway, I can't wait to get my order in and try out all of these fun products! Worse case scenario, I don't like something, I wasted a buck! I'm definitely not a make-up snob, so I can't see that happening!

I hope everyone is having a great day! Kyle is currently smoking a pork shoulder, and it smells delicious! Can't wait for dinner! Love me some BBQ!

Oh and www.egyptianpeddler.com is where I got the great deal on my bedding!

How do you do the hyper links? I tried, but I guess I got the HTML wrong.

Help help help!

Still haven't heard back from the agency. But through delivery confirmation, I know they just received our registration paperwork on Monday. Hopefully we'll hear back before the week is over! They say they contact you immediately! We'll see! Depending on when they call, and how when they can set up an appointment, depends on if we'll go be able to actually to the agency. We chose one that is 5 hours away. We don't have to go in person, but we would like to. Is your agency close by? Have you tried to do it with an agency that you weren't able to go to often? Advice anyone?

And another thing I want some advice on. How did you go about writing your adoption profile? Did you write a seperate "Dear.Birthmother" letter? Or did you kind of add it into your profile? How big was your profile? Was it more like a scrapbook, or just a letter and a few photos? I know our agency will have some guidelines to help narrow it down, but I would still like some "been there, done that" opinions. Please help! Any advice is much appreciated! And that goes for advice on any part of the homestudy process! I am anticipating that we will be starting it very soon!!!

And starting now, I will be responding to your comments in the comment section. So you may want to click the box to notify you of following comments. Don't worry, it won't blow up your inbox. Unfortunately, I don't get that many comments! LoL ::hint hint::

Oh! And I bought a new bedset today! For a 7 piece king size bedset, I only paid $90! No shipping, no tax, and 10% off! Can't beat it! And it's pretty cute! Can't wait to get it!

Randomness.

After a very long labor, my best's baby girl was finally born yesterday morning at 10:23a.m. I am so very happy for her and her new little family! But it was also bittersweet for me. Another friend having another baby. Story of my life. How the hell do you not get used to this by now? Hearing her talk about the labor made me a little sad. Although I know that I will get to be a mommy some day (hopefully soon!), I don't know if I will ever get to experience pregnancy, labor, and delivery. And while we are so excited to adopt, I would be lying if I said that it doesn't make me a little sad that I may never get that. All I really want is that feeling of finally being a Mom. I cannot imagine what an amazing feeling that is to have. One day...

My baby fever has kicked into high gear again. Remember when you first started trying to get pregnant, and you were so optimistic and naive that it wouldn't be much longer? And you were constantly looking at baby stuff, wanting to buy it all? That's where I'm at again! I haven't been like that for a long time. I have never been the girl who bought stuff the entire time we were trying. If I ever did buy something, I would hold onto for a little while, then usually end up giving it to the next pregnant person I knew. But lately, I just have such an urge to buy baby stuff! Luckily though, I either ignore, or purchase baby stuff for someone I know, like my bests' kids, or my nephews.

I love looking around my house and seeing my photography all over! It makes me smile! I know that I am nowhere near a pro, but taking pictures makes me happy. And then seeing my results when I get, what I consider to be, a great shot, I love to frame it and hang it in my house! And I can't wait to incorporate some of my photography into our future nursery!

I have a huge stye on my right top eyelid! And it HURTS! I get them fairly often. But generally, they're smaller and not too obvious. Not this one! Even with eye make-up, you can still kind of see it. Not cute!

Anyway, I guess I've filled you all with enough random for one night! I'm going to try and pry Kyle off of his game and drag im to bed. Good night, Love Muffins!

Yay for new babies!

My best friend, Erin, is in labor right now! And luckily, our other best friend, Sabrina, has been keeping me in the loop! Thank goodness for Blackberry Messenger! After a loooooooong labor and slow progress, she is finally at 10cm! She is getting ready to start pushing, and Little Miss Kendall will be here in no time! I'm so happy for her! But I am so sad that I'm not able to be there for her! This is her first, and she is going to be such a great Mommy! I can't wait to make a trip to go see them!

In other news, I officially got the nanny job for the twins! Their Mom emailed me yesterday letting me know that she would be calling me sometime this week to make a verbal job offer. I'm so excited! Things seem to really be coming together for us! I hope this trend continues!

Oh! Our new place! Here are a few pictures!






Well my dears, it is a beautiful day here in upstate New York! I am off to take advantage of it! Happy Weekend, Friends!

Step one: Done! It's in the mail!

That is our registration packet right before getting mailed off! I know it's not a huge deal, but for us, it kind of is! This was the first step, of the so very many to come, in the adoption process! Hopefully in the next few days, we'll hear from the agency, and then they can send us our home study stuff!
Unfortunately, the agency we chose is 5 hours from where we live! But, it's okay! Because we can do it all through the mail. And we do plan on making at least one trip to the agency. Plus, they are only 25 miles from N.iagra F.alls! Weekend get-away, anyone?
But we are so super excited to finally get to start this process! We made the decision to adopt back in November. But then we had to sit idle while we waited for this whole moving process to be done. And now, it's done! Next step, please!

Today was a great day, all around! We mailed off our packet, I got two free drinks from Starbucks(it's nice having a friend who is a barista there! :D), Kyle and I went and explored Albany, AND I got a call from my old boss! I thought she just wanted to catch up. But even better! She told me that she got a call from one of the ladies that interviewed me this past week. In two days, I had two interviews for nanny jobs! They were both great, but the second one was the one I really wanted. It's for 4-month old twin girls! A total dream come true for me! I have ALWAYS had a fascination with multiples. And I have always desperately wanted twins! Anyway, their mom called my old boss today, inquiring about me. And then she told her that she was pretty sure that she was going to be offering me the position in the next week! YAY! The other woman that interviewed me told me that she really liked me and that I was at the top of her list too! That makes me feel really good about myself! I don't have kids of my own yet, but you can guarantee that I take excellent care of others' children! I'm like Mary Poppins, only more bad ass! ;)

Home Sweet Home.

We finally have one again! And it is such a great feeling!
We have now been in New York for a week and three days. We got into our current place a week ago today. Originally we were going to buy a house. That didn't quite work out, so then we were going to rent one. But after some thinking, we decided that it would be a smart move to do a townhouse again. Even though we said that we wouldn't, after totally not loving the one in WA. BUT, we found some brand new ones. They are built so much nicer than the other ones. We can't hear our neighbors through the walls, we have more room in this one, and it's just all around nicer! AND our rent is over $3,000 less than our Basic Housing Allowance (BAH is what the Navy gives us to pay for housing, for those that aren't familiar)! And a big chunk of that will be going into our adoption fund! And clearly, that is what is most familiar! Speaking of that, I will be mailing in our registration packet either today or tomorrow!!! What comes next? Will they contact me or just start sending me the homestudy stuff? I'm so new to all of this, but so incredibly excited! I've been driving Kyle nuts talking baby stuff! Haha! I finally feel like it's okay! I can't wait to set up a nursery! And we finally have a girl's named picked out too! We've had our boy's name for years, but were never able to pick a girl's name. I know it seems silly to some, but to me, it was kind of a big deal!
Here's hoping to a quick and seamless homestudy!

Other than that, one of my best friends and her family will be moved out here by mid-June! I'm so excited that I will have her out here for me whenever we get placed! I've been there to help her with all of her kids. And she is such a great mother, I can't wait to have her here for me!

Well, I'm out of here for now, but you should be seeing my face around here on a regular basis again! Hooray! I know you're excited!
I've missed you all!

I'm still alive!

As can be imagined, we have been incredibly busy the last couple of weeks! We drove over 2,600 miles in 4 days! After three hard days of driving, we stopped in Abilene, TX to see my brother and his wife. We stayed a few nights with them, then on to Arkansas. We have been on the go since we got here! My parents, grandparents, and his Mom and step-dad live within 10 minutes of each other. And then the rest of his family lives about an hour away. I am so tired! LoL

I think we'll be leaving here on Wednesday, the 24th. But that isn't set in stone. Our anniversary is the 23rd, and we will have been married for 6 years! Wow! Where does the time go?! And the 27th is our 8 year anniversary of being together! Gosh, I still love that man to the moon and back! I am lucky to have him!

We are so incredibly close to being in New York! And you all know what that means! We finally get to officially start the adoption process!!!! AHHH! I am so thrilled! We have been waiting for this since November when we made the decision to adopt! YAY!!!

Once again, I'm so sorry that I have been a horrible bloggy friend! I am slowly, but surely, getting caught up on the past few weeks of blogs! I follow a lot of really great blogs, so it is definitely taking some time!

I've been taking a ton of pictures, in true Tiffany style! I've gotten to visit with my Grandma several times, which has been bittersweet. I love her so much, but it's so hard to see her like this. She has Alzheimer's, and has a very short term memory. But I will post more about that later. I am just very grateful to have the chance to spend time with her! We are so much alike in so many ways! Tonight, some old friends that I graduated with are coming over to hang out. Should be a good time! Several of them have babies that I have never met!

Well, dearests, I need to go. I'm going to become a regular around here again before too long! Just give me time! Hope everyone is doing well!!!